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This is the same old thing. You've heard me flap my gums about it a million times. It's the Rape Hoax.

At first a white cop guns down a black teen.
    OMG, that's horrible!

Who was an honor student!
    Can you believe it?!

Well, okay, the "teenager" was 18 years old.
    Well, still . . .

And we made up the part about him being an honor student.
    Well, that's doesn't change anything, does it?

And he was 6'4 and weighed 250 lbs.
    Okay, but he was still unarmed, right?

And somebody said he was a "Gentle Giant!"

. . . who did just commit a strong-arm robbery
    Well, that's bad, but still, he didn't deserve to get shot.

And, yeah, okay, he was coming at the cop when he got shot
    Anything else I need to know?

Oh, and yeah, I guess he did brutally beat the cop . . .

Meanwhile, all the time we're learning about this we're watching black people riot in the streets to prove they deserve our respect.

Next time a white cops shoots a black kid do you think I'm going to give it the attention it deserves?

As a public service let me suggest, free of charge, the headline that should have run:

Criminal Shot by Police in Ferguson Missouri.

No mention of race. I personally don't care what color the guy is who just caved in my skull. I'll shoot a white, black, Asian, Mexican or spotted Bohemian Antelope who did that.

103.1 FM changed its format.

That's my excuse. I used to have more FM options in the morning. Then all of a sudden I was thinking "This is pretty long bumper music." Turns out the programming I used to listen to on 103.1 FM was now only on 1430 AM, which comes in on my radio anywhere from bad to enhanced interrogation technique annoying.

That's why I have button for NPR.

And that's why—raise your right hand and swear you will NEVER, under any circumstances tell a soul—I was listening to Diane Rehm for a few seconds.

To hear her talk, you'd think there was a completely different protocol that had to be followed when dealing with black criminals.

So I researched it, and who knew? There is.

Infraction	White Criminal	Black Criminal
Jaywalking	Toot siren, verbal warning	Ignore
Acting in an Irrational manner on city street	Use billy club, handcuff	Chirp on siren, polite gesture
Threatening officer	Deploy tazer	Shout loud warning, as long as it's not rude
Charging officer	Beat suspect	Harsh language permitted
Assaulting officer, caving in his face	Shoot to kill	Put hands on tazer in a menacing manner

This is kind of the same thing as people who know nothing about the subject commenting on the Kevin Ward/Tony Stewart accident. The closest these people ever came to a racetrack was a YouTube video they watched last week. All of a sudden they're experts.

I've always thought Tony Stewart was a jerk. Always. But he didn't intentionally hit anyone.

Anyone who's ever driven a car (and that's going to eliminate half the people commenting on this) knows that it's sometimes a lot harder to see pedestrians than you'd think. When you're walking you're "Hey! I'm right here!" But from inside the car it's not the same, especially in certain light conditions.

If you've ever been in a race car, especially a sprint car going around a track in traffic . . . at night, you understand how a person could get lost when you're trying to look through a full face helmet and window nets.

So you hear a cop fired six shots at someone. That's excessive. You know, 'cause you've watched people use guns in the movies. That's why you get clever observations from experts like "Police-issued Glock 9mm pistols are deadly and they don’t read the U.S. Constitution before they fire."

First, if someone who just caved in my skull is coming at me, I'm going to shoot him if I can.

Second, I'm going to shoot him with a .45.

When you shoot someone in the chest with a 9mm he's going to die. The trouble is, he's going to die five minutes from now after inflicting fatal wounds to you. If he's charging at you, shooting him with a 9mm doesn't change anything that's about to happen.

So now I've got it all figured out (Anyone who knows me, knows that phrase—it's the one I use to poke fun at people who use facts like a drunk uses a lamppost—for support and not illumination). When I first heard the story I was open to the idea that an injustice had been done.

After a week of media frenzy trying to convince me an injustice was done, I'm pretty sure Michael Brown wasn't that great of a kid and the cop did nothing wrong.

Let me tell you a story . . . or, you could go to a different blog, but I'm not going to give you your admission back if you leave before you heard the story.

A guy I work with died suddenly. I really liked and respected this guy. I went to his viewing and was shocked to see a picture of him wearing a Tony Stewart hat. "I . . . but he . . . is that . . . ?"

It kind of dampened the whole grieving process for me . . .

What do you say?

My reaction when I heard the news was like everyone else's. "There must be some mistake." Certain public figures become fixtures—you just expect them to always be there. But the other element in this one was that Robin Williams made us laugh. It seemed so wrong that while he was cheering us up he was so sad.

Henry David Thoreau said "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation."

An article—in the New York Times, of course—quoted a cinematographer who said he saw the "Swiftian darkness of Robin’s heart" through his camera lens. Sure . . . after he committed suicide. Yeah, thanks for that insight, Sherlock.

I knew Robin Williams the same way you knew him, which is through his work, which is to say not at all. But I do have a close personal friend who shares some of the disquiet that we now know must have tormented Robin Williams.

For some reason Sundays are particularly hard for this individual. Between not enough sleep Saturday night, and sitting in church with people who have it all figured out, and Monday bearing down on him, he just struggles.

Then on Sunday night my CPF plays in a band concert. He looks around at all the other band members—talented, accomplished individuals with fulfilling personal relationships—and his soul fills with a torment that a French Horn is inadequate to release.

Maybe my close personal friend needs to audition for a saxophone part. That right there is a tap that can flow some soulful torment . . .

But the question is, does anyone live a life of fulfillment? Is my close personal friend tortured that everyone else has found an acceptable level of joy in their existence? Or is it his understanding of the possibility that none of them have—that it's not a realistic expectation? I wonder what it would do to his psyche to imagine the possibility that they're looking at him going through the motions of being a human and wishing their lives had the meaning that his does.

I guess it's like the square root of a million—we'll just never know.

Whether or not anyone ever finds happiness, I'm sad that Robin Williams wasn't able to keep on with the lather, rinse, repeat routine that's necessary for those who haven't.

Okay, whenever this sort of thing happens I always give the cop the benefit of the doubt. I love living in a society where the cops are the good guys, because I have lived in countries where that's not a given.

But it may not be the case. You know @$$holes who are bullies and love to hurt people. It's a sad truth that some of those wastes of skin end up being cops. There's no way to know that just because a person is a cop that he's a good guy. Just like the fact that someone is a doctor doesn't mean he's compassionate or competent.

So I shouldn't do that—but I do think it's a healthier attitude. And for the moment we can. Obviously we need to be extremely vigilant about the control that police are able to have over us. An out of control police state is a very scary scenario to imagine.

But we know the kid had committed a strong-arm robbery where he assaulted a clerk. The cop didn't know that, but it was true and the kid knew that, which would have contributed to his attacking the officer. We know this "unarmed boy" actually turned out to be a 250 lb. 6'3" eighteen year old. So that leans toward the cop being in the right. If you (the press) have to lie to make me believe a story I'm inclined to think it's not true.

The cop did shoot him six times, but if a big man like that were attacking me I'm pretty sure I'd do the same thing.

But I'll cede the point that we don't know what happened yet. So we don't know if the cop was a good guy or a bad guy.

But we do know who the bad guys are.

The people who are rioting.

They are bad guys. They are sub-human slime. Screw them. Screw them all to Hell. If you're going to smash store windows and steal TVs I hope you get shot through the head. I really do. You are a pile of crap and you deserve to die, I don't care if you think you're justified because some robber you never heard of got shot by a cop.

Seriously? You think you live in a country where people hate blacks? Maybe if we turn on our TV and see black people smashing windows and throwing rocks and setting fire to things that will make us say "Gee whiz, fellows, you're pretty swell eggs after all."

In the same "Things that make no sense" category as looting as a form of free speech, you heard that some race tracks, in response to Kevin Ward Jr. getting killed, have institute rules prohibiting drivers from running around in traffic on the race track.

As long as we're putting in place this kind of "Please don't eat the daisies" rules, I have some other suggestions.

2. All drivers must race cars in the same direction to be agreed upon before the green flag

3. No extending the feet outside the vehicle to stop the car.

4. No cooking while driving.

5. No peeing on the track during green flag or yellow flag racing

6. Construction material larger than a pallet of plywood not to be carried in the car during the race.

7. Exchange of gunfire between rookie drivers and minor spectators strictly prohibited during the last 10 laps of green flag racing

8. Body piercings are not to be secured to any portion of the vehicle

There are two kinds of people on this planet: Those who think that Tony Stewart (who I have never had any love for) could have intentionally hit Kevin Ward, and those who have ever been inside a race car on a track.

I've slipped into a parody of reality. Nothing makes sense anymore. Now some two-bit schmuck who is pissed off 'cause the guy he didn't vote for is governor, is bringing an indictment against him. For what? Glad you asked. For not wanting a drunken insane woman to be a public official.

But, as Laura Ingraham pointed out, we'd prefer he be golfing than screwing up our country.

Rush is wrong again. He talks about how everyone says that "Obama has checked out. He's tired of the job. He's disengaged." But Rush sees this as a brilliant planned maneuver.

I've flapped my gums about this before. You know Rush is wrong because his explanation doesn't jive with the correct model—my model—that explains that Barack Obama is a celebrity. He's not a revolutionary; he just plays one on TV.

It's the same old thing. Is Obama really that unfathomably stupid? Does he want what's best for America and just inept at getting it, or is he that evil and being successful in wrecking the place?

These two competing things play out in what we conservatives complain about. First, we make fun of the man for constantly going on vacation while Rome burns, but then we squawk that he's taking too much action.

This apparent discrepancy is all resolved by my Celebrity model of the Golfer in Chief. The "Action" that he takes is never really work. It's showboating. All this whining about "Someone has to do the work! I'm the one doing all the work!" Total BS. He doesn't do anything. He just comes out when the cameras are on.

Barack Obama may likely be the laziest President we've ever had. He doesn't work. He relies on the power of his personality to do it. Beyond that, it's way too much bother.

Which is a good thing. When someone as crazy as Barack Obama is industrious, that's when you have problems.

Warren Buffet said:

“Somebody once said that in looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if you don’t have the first, the other two will kill you. You think about it; it’s true. If you hire somebody without [integrity], you really want them to be dumb and lazy.”

Don't be too hard on Rush. He is wrong on this one, but it's a confusing thing. Obama is kind of an anomaly. Usually someone is clearly evil or stupid. It's rare to have such high levels of both in the same guy.

Years ago I remember a journalist being asked about favorite Presidents. This journalist, who (need I say) was a liberal, said "Actually, I'd have to say Nixon was the best President for my profession."

One thing about having a totally inept pile of excrement like Obama in the White House—if a guy happened to have a blog he'd never run out of material.

Anyone who's paying attention understands that Obama has been the most inept foreign policy President that we've ever had. Maybe the most inept Foreign Policy President it is conceivable to have.

John Kerry, our complete idiot nincompoop incompetent stuffed shirt boob Secretary of State, was on Meet the Press Sunday using as many words as he could to say nothing.

After that ridiculous display, Lindsey Graham had this to say about Jerry's fantasy view of the world:

And as to Secretary Kerry, he gave the most ridiculous and delusional summary of American foreign policy I could imagine.

It scares me that he believes the world is in such good shape. America is the glue that holds the free world together. Leading from behind is not working. The world is adrift. And President Obama has become the king of indecision. His policies are failing across the globe, and they will come here soon.

I've archived these old blogs, so I may have to remind you of my San Francisco story.

I was in the city for a conference on Ecocities, and it was chock full of whackos. The very first sentence out of the moderator's mouth was "As Al Gore has said . . . "

Now, in the Universe where I (and the other rational people) live, that phrase is followed by a punch line. I got ready to laugh loudly and irreverently. But when he told us whatever that moron had said everybody gave this kind of "Awwww" sigh, like the prophet had spoken from the mount.

Immediately the scene leapt into my head from Galaxy Quest where the aliens didn't understand Gilligan's Island wasn't real. "Those poor people!"

That's pretty much how the morning sessions all went. These people (keep in mind, these are people—human beings—people) think that . . . seriously . . . the main problem on this planet is . . . people. Really? Are you volunteering to leave? It's like someone asking their boss to fire them.

By the time the lunch break came around I was a bit discouraged about the prospects for our world. I went wandering outside to get some air, stepped out onto Market Street, and I heard this sound.

It was a sound I knew, but it sounded strangely out of place—like hearing "Don't Look Back" all of a sudden being played at a Mormon Tabernacle Choir concert. I looked up and—it was! A 1969 Chevelle doing a noisy, smoky, extended burnout in the traffic on Market Street San Francisco USA.

I gazed heavenward at the source of my salvation . . .

That's how I felt when Senator Graham came on after John Kerry spouted his crap. Thank you! OMG, thank you. Not everyone on the planet is a sanctimonious imbecile like John Kerry.

Here's the full transcript of the bilge that pantywaist moron Kerry was spouting. I put Graham's response first, because the bull$4!t that prompted it is just too maddening to read.

DAVID GREGORY: Mr. Secretary, before I let you go, I want you to answer critics who accuse this president of an uncertain course in his foreign policy. And it harkens back to something the president wrote in his own book Audacity of Hope. He wrote this, critical of the Bush years, "Without a well-articulated strategy that the public supports and the world understands, America will lack the legitimacy and, ultimately, the power it needs to make the world safer than it is today." Is that the problem President Obama faces? SECRETARY JOHN KERRY: No. Let me tell you. What he faces maybe is a problem with a bunch of critics who want to jump to conclusions without looking at the facts. But the facts could not be more clear. The United States of America has never been more engaged in helping to lead in more places than we are now.

I just came back from China, where we are engaged with the Chinese in dealing with North Korea. And you will notice, since the visit last year, North Korea has been quieter. We haven't done what we want to do yet with respect to the de-nuclearization. But we are working on that and moving forward.

With respect to Syria, we struck a deal where we got 100% of the chemical weapons out. With respect the Iraq, we are deeply involved now in the process of government formation, helping the Iraqis to be able to choose a government of unity that can reunite it. They've elected a speaker. They're about to elect a president. We believe that's moving forward.

On Afghanistan, we helped strike a deal recently to help warring parties in the contest of the election to be able to come together and hold Afghanistan together. With respect to Iran, this president has taken the risk of putting together a negotiation. For the first time in ten years, the Iranian nuclear program is actually being rolled backwards. And Israel and the region are safer than they were.

We negotiated a ceasefire in an effort to try to bring troops into south Sudan. We've negotiated a disarming of the M-23 rebel group in Democratic Republic of the Congo. We're negotiating a major economic treaty, a package trade agreement with Europe, 40% of the world's GDP. Same thing in Asia.

I would tell you something, David. One thing I've seen for certain, people aren't worried around the United States (sic) and sitting there saying, "We want the United States to leave." People are worried that the United States might leave. And the fact is that every fundamental issue of conflict today, the United States is in the center leading and trying to find an effort to make peace where peace is very difficult.

And I think the American people ought to be proud of what this president has done in terms of peaceful, diplomatic engagement, rather than quick trigger deploying troops, starting or engaging in a war of choice. I think the President's on the right track. And I think we have the facts to prove it.

Now go read Lindsey Graham's comments again to cleanse your palate.