Leany on Life -- February 2012
I may not agree with your opinion, but I will defend to the death my right to ridicule it.

Headlines from the Alternate Universe

What the hell kind of country is this where I can only hate a man if he's white?
    Hank Hill

Phil Hendrie Lives . . . Still
The record for the dumbest move in radio goes to the idiot who eliminated Phil Hendrie from the Salt Lake market.

You know the shtick . At the start of the show Hendrie has "guest" who has a situation. At the beginning it sounds plausible. But as the show progresses and you learn more about the situation, the character becomes less of a sympathetic figure.

At some point you clue in, slap your forehead and say "Good one! You were putting me on this whole time."

That's the great thing about a free market economy. When you have a void, it gets filled. With Phil Hendrie no longer in the market, you listen to Glenn Beck. And he's apparently discovered that market need—the way people love to hear ridiculous comedy delivered as though it were a real news story.

Take today. You had the story about the Georgetown coed whose health was put in danger by the University's policy.

Whoa! That should be a good story.

So you start hearing about it—the policy is that the university-provided health insurance doesn't cover something. This young girl only found out about this horrible omission while standing in line at the pharmacy. What was this life-saving critical health component that the university refuses to provide?

Why, it was contraception, of course.

Good one, Glenn! You had me going there for a second.

But just to make you think you're really smart and figured it out early, they keep on going just like it's a real news story, no matter how insanely ridiculous it gets. And it does get insanely ridiculous.

Like when we hear "of how embarrassed and powerless she felt when she was standing at the pharmacy counter, learning for the first time that contraception wasn’t covered, and had to walk away because she couldn’t afford it."

No way! The University isn't paying for you to have sex! Those fiends!

But it gets better. "Women like her have no choice but to go without contraception." No choice! Oh, the horror—the horror! 'Cause you know that no one in the history of sex has ever paid for her own contraception. Or had the horny boyfriend pay for it as a condition of putting out. Or . . . and I'm just spitballing here . . . managed to go without sex while single and attending a church-owned university . . .

But, the saga continues: "We expected that when we told our universities of the problems this policy created for students, they would help us. We expected that when 94% of students opposed the policy, the university would respect our choices regarding insurance students pay for completely unsubsidized by the university."

You have to throw that in, just in case you still had any doubts it might be a real news story. That's the kind of brilliant comedy we're dealing with here. If enough people want the university to subsidize our sex, it's just logical that they would pay for that. Brilliant comedy!

It's like the rake bit on the Cape Fear episode of The Simpsons. The first time he steps on a rake and gets hit in the face, it's funny. The second time it's not quite as funny, then by the fourth or fifth time it's not funny at all. But he keeps going and going and going . . . and going and going. After awhile you find yourself laughing again in spite of yourself.

Oh, well
You know, it's a shame no one ever looks here. Among the three posts a year are some brilliantly profound observations . . .

In Case You Wondered
This is why I'll never be President. When I'm President and we find Korans that are being used to recruit terrorists and pass secrets, we burn them with the other trash that we're cleaning up.

Muslim terrorists get all bent out of shape over it.

I do the right thing--I schedule a formal apology. We hold it in a huge stadium. Anyone who feels like they were offended by the act is invited. We pay to fly them in. We make sure that anyone who holds that point of view comes in person to the formal apology.

Once all these people are assembled in the stadium, we light the place up.

The Alternate Universe Chronicles
On This Day in History Feature

Continued below
(Best viewed with a mind not clouded by the Kool-Aid)

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What to do until the Blog arrives

The Litter-ature novel is here. I update it regularly--every time Lindsey McKeon tackles me and sticks her tongue in my ear.

Handy Resources New!

The Desktop Dyno

Jordan's Eagle Project.

Duke Boys Car Chase

LoL Cartoons

Logic Primer

Gymkhana Practice

Compass Course Spreadsheet

Complete Orienteering Course Files Updated!

Things you may not know about Sarah Palin

Amazing Grace on the Sax

Obama's Magic 8 Ball

The John Galt Society

It can be discouraging to look around at who's running the show these days and wonder "Where have all the grown-ups gone?"

Take heart. There are still some people who are not drinking the Kool-aid. Here's where to find them. I would suggest going gown this list every day and printing off the most recent articles you haven't read to read over lunch.

Michelle Malkin
Michelle Malkin is a feisty conservative bastion. You loved her book "Unhinged" and you can read her columns here.
Ann Coulter

Ann posts her new column every Thursday, or you can browse her past columns.
George Will
What can you say? It's George Will. Read it.
Charles Krauthammer posts every Friday. Just a good, smart conservative columnist.
If you want someone who gets it just as right, but is easier to read, try Thomas Sowell, who just posts at random times.
Jonah Goldbert seldom disappoints.
David Limbaugh carries on the family tradition.

Jewish World Review has all these guys plus lots more good stuff.

Or you can go to radio show sites like
 Laura Ingraham's or Glenn Beck's or Rush Limbaugh's..

If you'd like you can study The Constitution while you wait.

Then there's always TownHall.com, NewsMax.com, The Drudge Report, FreeRepublic.com, World Net Daily, (which Medved calls World Nut Daily), News Busters, or National Review Online.

For the Lighter Appetite

If you have to read the news, I recommend The Nose on Your Face, news so fake you'd swear it came from the Mainstream Media. HT to Sid for the link.
Or there's always The Onion. (For the benefit of you Obama Supporters, it's a spoof.)

Dave Barry's Column
Daryl Cagle's Index of Political Cartoons
About half of these cartoonists are liberal (Latin for wrong) but the art is usually good. (Fantastic, if you're used to the quality of art on this site.)

Or just follow the links above and to the right of this section (you can't have read all my archived articles already). If you have read all my articles (you need to get out more) go to my I'm Not Falling For It section.

Above all, try to stay calm. Eventually I may post something again.

Today's Second Amendment Message

Earlier Blogs

You're right—you are sorry

Of all of the people I never thought I would quote . . .

John Kerry said "I didn't think he'd *&#! it up that bad. Nobody did." What he was talking about was something nobody had messed up. He was just trying to use the Hitler Hustle to appeal to stupid people to vote for him. But it turned out to be a perfect example of projection.

People tend to see the world through the lens of how they are. In the case of a liberal, that means that they see people taking something good and wrecking it.

So now we understand where John Kerry was coming from. We see if reflected in Obama: We knew the guy was bad news, but never could have guessed he could possibly screw things up as bad as he does.

I'm talking about his latest apologies for us doing the right thing:

First – and I know I'm preaching to the choir here – the Korans that got burnt were being used to pass secrets and recruit terrorists to the cause. If you're waiting for me to apologize for defending myself, don't hold your breath.

Second, the proper disposition of a Koran that has been desecrated by being written in is to burn it. That's your rules, you primeval lunatics, not ours.

If you want to protect your sacred little book, don't freaking use it to try to kill us, you evil little bastards.

Muslim terrorists are pieces of crap. So are clueless idiots who bow down to them.

Four more years?
Dennis Miller said it best: Four more years of Barack Obama won't be the end of the world. But it will be the end of America as we have known it.

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