• Sarah Palin is a direct descendant of Lawrence Eddelmeyer, the man who kicked Aaron Burr's fanny after Burr shot Alexander Hamilton.
• Sarah Palin attended parochial school at Our Lady of Extreme Hotness.
• Sarah Palin's High School Science Fair project was titled "34 Recipes for California Condor."
• Sarah Palin invented a chemical language to communicate solely with pheromones.
• The color of Sarah Palin's hair is called "Caribou milk chocolate auburn."
• Sarah Palin is old enough to remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.
• The Palin children are expected to get in one schoolyard brawl with a liberal every single day.
• As a child Sarah Palin secretly kept a pet Polar bear in her treehouse.
• Jimmy Carter wet his pants when he heard Palin was McCain's VP pick . . . wait, he does that all the time, so I'm not sure this one is relevant.
• The word "Palin" is Eskimo for "Destroyer of Lakers Fans."
• Sarah Palin drinks wine she stole from Katie Couric's cellar.
• If you play the Beatles song "Something" backwards it says "Sarah, Sarah, blimey Guv'nor."
• If you play Obama's convention speech backwards it says "Hu, re, hu, uh, re, uh hu." (how did this get on the list?)
• Sarah Palin's MySpace page includes a coded message explaining that she went into politics as therapy for the heartbreak of finding out I wasn't available.
• Sarah Palin once put lipstick on a pit bull.
• Bill Clinton spent most of Sarah Palin's convention speech ducking china that Hillary was throwing at him.
• The pulpit in the Alaska state legislature is made from a redwood that Sarah Palin cut down with a Bowie knife.
• Sarah Palin was McCain's second choice; selected only after he found out Eva Mendez wasn't really a bombshell politician, she just played one on TV.
• Since Palin was announced as McCain's running mate a total of 2,189 gay voters have decided maybe they're straight after all.

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