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Obama has been lauded for his speaking ability. Many people believe that this gift is something you're born with. If you don't have the ability you can't develop it.

Take heart, Obama worshippers! You, too, can sway crowds with your Barackesque speech! Through the miracle of the internet I've been able to duplicate the high tech tool that Obama uses to say exactly the right thing for any given occasion.

Simply think of a problem, any problem--like the economy, terrorism, health care, or the ugly spoilers on rice burners--then shake your mouse slightly and run it over the amazing Obama Magic 8-ball.

Try it! The Magic 8-ball will show you exactly what Obama would say to address the very issue you're thinking about. This is amazing!

Obama supporters say that the measure of a leader is whether he can make you cry when he speaks. It's brilliant in its simplicity! Experience, character, ability, judgment . . . all those complicated elements just drop right out of the equation. I speak, you cry. Leadership distilled to its very essence.

If that's standard I'd have to acknolwledge that Obama is one of the greatest leaders ever. I'll have to admit it. When I hear Obama speak I always feel like sobbing.

Frank Leany