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Understanding the 2012 Election

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Here's everything we know about the missing Malaysian Flight 370:

 

That's it. That's what we know. Feel free to look at this same update anytime in the future.

We don't know one blessed thing. I'm betting money that we never will. But that doesn't keep people from wildly speculating.

I got wind of Obama doing something with Zach Galla . . . Gallopin . . . Goofusalumpus . . . some guy, so I asked Uncle Google about it. All I could find was this spoof interview where they put together clips of someone like he's really interviewing a person like this:

I wondered how in the Utah they could get those clips of Obama, and I searched and searched to find the real interview that spoof was made from.

I have fallen down a rabbit hole.

I hesitate to report this, because I feel like that person that buys the hoax everybody knows is a hoax . . . but . . . but . . . it would seem at this point in my investigation . . . all indications I have been able to find point to the fact that Obama might have actually done that interview.

I'm not 100% on this yet; I still hold out hope that the President of the United States isn't a complete horse's arse . . . but if it is a killer hoax all the news outlets are in on it.

Reports are—and I say it that way to give the White House the benefit of the doubt—that the White House defended the decision to do the interview.

Asked whether Obama's appearance on the "show" was beneath the office of the president, Carney said he did not think so, saying "we made the right call here."

You know I like humor as much as the next guy. Just look at the hilarious stuff I write here!

:-/

But the Office of the President isn't really the place for that. It's like that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer makes a salad while naked in the shower. There are some things you do in the bathroom, other things more suited for the kitchen.

The way I even came across that story was I saw a cartoon with an aide telling Obama "the good news is they didn't make you spell . . . " Galifalinakusupulous . . . whatever his name is.

So I asked Uncle Google about Obama and spelling. I finally came across the story about Obama trying to spell Respect, like from the Aretha Franklin song.

Okay, whatever, people goof up sometimes.

The obvious point is that nobody talks about it when Obama does it. Every single time Bush said "Uh . . ." it was front page headlines. "Bush Is Stupid." Letterman would run the clip over and over and over again. And you're still hearing about Dan Quayle.

Here's a fact: Bush is more intelligent than Obama. If you think that's not true you haven't been paying attention and, beyond that, are weak minded because you believe what the media has been feeding you.

Here's a great line from the move Jack Reacher (and the book One Shot). Training can take someone who isn't smart and make them seem smart.

That's Obama. The man is freaking clueless. But he has trained in the art of speaking well.

Anyone can recite poetry; that doesn't make him a poet.

The man is a freaking idiot.

That's a good segue (or Segway, as "Ron" might say) into this topic: do you stand up against evil or just keep your head down?

I've flapped my gums to you about this before. Dennis Miller talked about it in the context of praising Dick Cheney (more below). He said, "I'm telling you, when it gets ugly, I'm gonna lie."

Smart strategy, actually.

Right now I can still call Obama an idiot. He is an idiot, but I can still say that because . . . well, because I'm a nobody and nobody reads this blog. Do you honestly think we still live in a country so different from Peron's Argentina where you can criticize the King and not have consequences? Again, you have not been paying attention.

At some point the Sam Adams question will come up. Do I stand up for what's right (even though it's futile) or do I protect my family and just keep my head down?

The point of this post was that that question is the theme of two plays: A Man for All Seasons and Sound of Music. In both cases the guy took the hard route.

Sorry . . . I'm boring myself. This topic deserves a better treatment than I'm giving it.

This is like what Stanley Kubrick did. Who would have guessed that anybody could make nudity so boring?

Dick Cheney is a great American. If you disagree with that you have a weak mind.

Anyone who hates Dick Cheney obediently does because they've been told that they do. The cross-eyed goat doinkers in the media have told them over and over and over again what an evil person Dick Cheney is. They can't site one single reason to dislike the man. But if you have no more brain power than the average mutt the second you hear his name you have the pavlovian response to say "Evil!"

Here's the paradox: You say "But . . . but . . . but . . . Obama doesn't like war! He'll keep America out of war!"

False.

The fact is that Obama's policies make wars more likely.

The way you avoid war is to make it the least attractive alternative for the enemy. Obama is a wuss. Can we just agree on that? He is a estrogen-soaked pantywaist beta wuss. He is exactly the kind of prissy pansy that invites attacks from bullies.

Read this article in the Wall Street Journal. You know the deal; the link's not going to work. Just Google "Anatomy of a Feckless Presidency"

I don't know what feckless means, but it sounds naughty.

Obviously one of the best take on the Ukraine deal comes from Ann Coulter who took a break from talking about immigration this week.

On the topic of Ann Coulter's timely posts . . . sorry, I know, I missed a week. I'm surprised the cosmos survived that disturbance in the force. I went to Vegas on Wednesday and had the notes all ready to go Tuesday, but didn't get them polished up and posted. That's what accounts for the material being old this week.

I love that I can still call Obama an idiot without having my door kicked in.

Enjoy it while it lasts.

I'm not kidding.

And I'm not crazy.

What? You think we fixed the glitch that allowed that to happen every other time infantile egomaniacs got control throughout all history?

I'm not going to get my door kicked in for that. Even that idiot Obama knows that Kerry is an idiot.

To keep the NSA chuckling. Poor guys. Whoever is assigned to read this blog . . . wow. And you thought your job sucks.

Have you heard about this campaign to ban bossy?

Wait! Before you summarily dismiss as supremely stoooooo-pid the idea of deforesting the language and establishing thought control, think about it. As long as the Book Burning Society is decreeing what words and thoughts we can have, maybe they should make it illegal to say "Racist."

I know, I know, MSNBC would have to close its doors. Bill Maher will have to have his mouth surgically sewn shut. But if you're serious about purifying society there are going to be some casualties.

Just in case John Kerry isn't ridiculous enough.

Some moron lawmakers stayed up all night to discuss Global Warming, even though they have no intention of introducing any legislation about it.

The comments are hilarious. Wait . . . if it's "settled science," why all the discussion?

If stupidity endangers the ozone layer we might as well suck on an exhaust pipe right now.

. . . that I still have all the boring words but now I have more easy to paste cartoons?

This was great. Romney and Palin both predicted the situation with Russia, and were vilified for it.

Can you believe Romney said "binders of women?" Ha ha ha ha hah! Good thing we didn't elect him President! All he could do is fix the economy and deal with Russia. Who needs that?

We may have a crappy economy and be a laughing stock in the world, but at least Obama can deliver zingers like "The 80s called; they want their foreign policy back."

And man can that guy ever give a speech about gay marriage and Global Warming.

Read this article about Obama grabbing dictatorial power.

Just do it.

Why do you have to fight me on everything?