Leany on Life -- August 2010

On This Day in Revisedrealityville History

Meanwhile, over in an Alternate Universe

Litmus Tests
You remember the Hogan's Heroes episode when a bomb landed inside Stalag 13. Colonel Klink asked Hogan to disarm it. Everyone else got in the bunkers while Klink and Hogan . . .

Continued below
(Best viewed with a mind not clouded by the Kool-Aid)

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What to do until the Blog arrives

The Litter-ature novel is here. I update it regularly--every time Kirstin Chenowith tackles me and sticks her tongue in my ear.

Jordan's Eagle Project.

LoL Cartoons

Logic Primer

Duke Boys Car Chase

Pipe Intersections

Gymkhana Practice

Programmable Calendar

Compass Course Spreadsheet

Complete Orienteering Course Files Updated!

Things you may not know about Sarah Palin

Handy Units Conversion Utility

Amazing Grace on the Sax

Obama's Magic 8 Ball


The John Galt Society

It can be discouraging to look around at who's running the show these days and wonder "Where have all the grown-ups gone?"

Take heart. There are still some people who are not drinking the Kool-aid. Here's where to find them. I would suggest going gown this list every day and printing off the most recent articles you haven't read to read over lunch.

Michelle Malkin
Michelle Malkin is a feisty conservative bastion. You loved her book "Unhinged" and you can read her columns here.
Ann Coulter

Ann posts her new column every Thursday, or you can browse her past columns.
George Will
What can you say? It's George Will. Read it.
Charles Krauthammer posts every Friday. Just a good, smart conservative columnist.
If you want someone who gets it just as right, but is easier to read, try Thomas Sowell, who just posts at random times.
Jonah Goldbert seldom disappoints.
David Limbaugh carries on the family tradition.

Jewish World Review has all these guys plus lots more good stuff.

Or you can go to radio show sites like
 Laura Ingraham's or Glenn Beck's or Rush Limbaugh's..

If you'd like you can study The Constitution while you wait.

Then there's always TownHall.com, NewsMax.com, The Drudge Report, FreeRepublic.com, World Net Daily, (which Medved calls World Nut Daily), News Busters, or National Review Online.

For the Lighter Appetite

If you have to read the news, I recommend The Nose on Your Face, news so fake you'd swear it came from the Mainstream Media. HT to Sid for the link.
Or there's always The Onion. (For the benefit of you Obama Supporters, it's a spoof.)

Dave Barry's Column
Daryl Cagle's Index of Political Cartoons
About half of these cartoonists are liberal (Latin for wrong) but the art is usually good. (Fantastic, if you're used to the quality of art on this site.)

Or just follow the links above and to the right of this section (you can't have read all my archived articles already). If you have read all my articles (you need to get out more) go to my I'm Not Falling For It section.

Above all, try to stay calm. Eventually I may post something again.

Today's Second Amendment Message

Latest Blog (continued)

Check it Out

You probably already have, but just in case you haven't, check out Jordan's Eagle Project.

Litmus Tests
You remember the Hogan's Heroes episode when a bomb landed inside Stalag 13. Colonel Klink asked Hogan to disarm it. Everyone else got in the bunkers while Klink and Hogan went out in the compound to work on the bomb. They took off the cover and found the wires. Hogan asked "Do I cut the blue wire or the red wire?"

"Cut the red wire," Klink said.

Hogan cut the blue wire and the bomb was disarmed and everyone breathed a sigh of relief and came out of hiding.

After the commercial break Klink asked Hogan "I said to cut the red wire, but you cut the blue one. Why even ask me if you're not going to do what I say?"

Hogan said "I didn't know which was the right wire to cut, but I knew you'd pick the wrong one."

That's a great way to gauge things in politics. I'm not always sure what's right, but I'm certain the leftists will always pick the wrong side.

You know Bush was a good President because the left hated him so much. You know Sarah Palin is good for America because she drives the left so crazy.

I had doubts about what good, if any, Glenn Beck's 8/28 rally would do. The left has erased all my doubts.

Howard Dean went on a rant about how Glenn Beck's not quite right in the head. The Prozac-soaked Howard Dean calling you crazy is like Tiger Woods calling someone a slut. Then some guy named Blow--I swear, I thought they were making childish fun of this blowhard, too, but that's his real name--said that "Glenn Beck is an incredibly divisive figure . . ." What, as opposed to Barack Obama? Why? Because you said so?

"Divisive" in the liberal lexicon means "Doesn't mindlessly agree with me." Classic projection.

Attention liberals: There's a simple way to bridge the divide. Come over to the right side.

I checked the Bloggers' Bylaws and I did have to comment on the rally. That's my comment. You cannot serve the Lord without offending the devil. Glenn Beck is offending the devil. He is Samuel the Lamanite.

Proud to be a Racist
The new definition of a racist is "Someone who is winning an argument with a liberal."

Call me very proud to be a "racist."

How do you like me now?
America doesn't elect pure, prime-grade, full-on liberals like Obama. In order to win office in America you have to moderate your views somewhat. But the enemy figured out a way to get one in. "Hey, lookee, here. You have a chance to prove you're not a racist, 'cause we know you have this secret fear that you are. Vote for Obama and your open-minded, cosmopolitan bona fides are secure." Those voters never examined his radical views. There was no way anyone was going to steal their chance to vote for a black man.

That's how we ended up with 100% unvarnished version of a modern liberal for a President. That's very bad news for America. But you know me, the eternal optimist. I was able to find a silver lining in this mess. The good thing that can come of this is that liberalism is exposed.

You thought you wanted a liberal? There you go. There's your liberal for you. We are seeing liberalism, without any of the tempering lenses that we usually view it through.

Obama has the House and the Senate and the Presidency. There's no getting around it. The conditions we're seeing today belong to the liberals. I guess actually running things isn't nearly as easy as holding sit-ins to whine about the way things are being run, is it?

Obama has tried to say that no, that the Republicans have had input. Anybody that isn't locked in a rubber room knows that's bullcrap. He's also tried to say the opposite--that Republicans have blocked everything they've tried to do.

Well, anyone who can count his own ears and come up with the same answer twice in a row knows that's a lie. The liberals control the House. They control the Senate. They control the executive branch. The Republicans have been completely shut out of American politics.

What you're seeing happening in this country is what happens when you let liberals run things.

Through the looking . . . uh . . . glass
I was thinking about Chris Matthews and how he heard "Obama is a Muslim" in "The President says he's a Christian, I take him at this word, there's no dispute." It seemed eerily similar to when Maureen Dowd heard "You lie, boy!" when the transcript, videotape, audiotape and eyewitnesses all recorded that he said "You lie."

That seems like a lot of work. Wouldn't it be easier to just see things as they are rather than twisting them around and adding stuff that isn't there? Liberals are famous for their laziness. If they do it that way it's gotta' be because it's easier. As much work as it is to twist the facts around to fit your position, simply adjusting your viewpoint must be incredibly difficult for a liberal.

So I tried to imagine a world where you hear what you want to hear and you see what you want to see. You hear people saying the n-word at Tea Party rallies where it was never said. You find abortion, universal health care and gay marriage right there in the Constitution where no one else is able to see it.

And it's not just the national party. It even bleeds down the liberals next door. 'Joe' is always wandering into my office, citing facts A, and B, and C, that can only lead to conclusion D, then saying "So the only possible explanation is Q."

There has to be some allure to that approach. I figured the only way to know for sure was to give it a try.

In the last design review I kept bringing up the rotation of the schwarznoodle mandrel. "So, we're still going to turn this counterclockwise, right?" I asked.

"No, we never were going to turn it counterclockwise," the project manager said. "We're turning it clockwise just like we've always discussed."

"But counterclockwise would be better," I pointed out.

"In what way?"

"Well, because the . . . when you . . . look, it's just better," I told the group. "Counterclockwise makes the . . . if you look at the end of the cogs on the mandrel . . . oh, you just don't understand the issues."

"Well, let's see," the project manager said. "The rake of the blade engages at a positive angle when it's clockwise, the standard threads torque up clockwise, and the jets are angled to clean the side that presents in a clockwise rotation."

"And the Scorpion machine only turns clockwise," another engineer chimed in.

"We're going to stick with clockwise," my boss said.

I was glad to see they were coming around to my point of view.

Later my boss came into my office to see how the design was coming.

"Oh, it's great," I said, "I've got the mandrel turning counterclockwise and . . ."

"Wait a minute, what?" My boss was turning red in the face. "The mandrel has to turn clockwise. I told you the mandrel turns clockwise."

"Well," I chuckled, "You said clockwise but you meant counterclockwise. I was just doing what you asked."

"I asked you to take the assembly," my boss said. "Then you were to lay it out on the computer to see if it will fit on our test bench, stretch out the length of the crossover to fit the rest of the collar, and watch the threads so they connect to the actuator."

"Exactly," I said. "I did just what you said. You said to lay . . . on our . . . bench [and] stretch out . . . [and] rest [and have a cold drink, a sandwich,] and watch [some television.]"

I'm sad to report my experiment in adjusting the facts to fit my viewpoint didn't work very well. Apparently my boss is a liberal. He was unable to adjust his viewpoint to fit my facts and sent me packing.

Entertaining Guests
I heard on the news this morning that Obama is having Netanyahu over for dinner tonight. You remember last time Obama had Netanyahu over. Right in the middle of the meeting Obama gets up and heads out. "Where are you going?"

"Oh, I don't know, I think I'm going to go eat dinner. But hey, make yourself at home. Feel free to use a computer or something, and if you want, go in the kitchen and make yourself a sandwich."

When I heard about the dinner tonight, I figured that Netanyahu's probably expecting a repeat of the same performance.

In keeping with my new, open-minded liberal approach of reality being whatever my brain can conceive, here's an actual play-by-play of what actually happened later on in the future tonight.

Halfway through the appetizer the ADD-riddled Obama gets up and heads out of the dining room. "Uh . . . where are you going?" Netanyahu asks.

"Oh, I don't know, I'm gonna' go play a video game or something."

Tea Party is the cause of illegal immigration
From The Manitoba, Canada Herald
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield , whose acreage borders North Dakota . The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn't give any milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves.

"A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water.

"They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close to President Obama said, "We're going to have some Paul McCartney and Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out," he said.

Today's Headlines
The big news this morning is that a fire at a mosque construction site in Tennessee is being investigated as a hate crime. The news reported that gasoline was poured over equipment and some machinery was set on fire.

I wish I could remember the linguistic term for this journalistic technique . . . it's something like . . . some obscure technical phrase like . . . wait, I remember!


This is complete bullcrap. I'm telling you here, because even though it was headlines this morning, it won't be reported when the investigation concludes that 1) there was no gasoline poured on anything, a welder sprayed sparks on a pile of rags or some construction worker threw his cigarette butt too close to a pile of sawdust and wood scraps, or 2) a liberal or Muslim set the fire deliberately so they could play the victim.

One thing we know for absolute certain is that no one set fire to the mosque as a hate crime. Every single time you hear one of these things reported, it's a hoax. Bet on it.

Well? Is he?
David Limbaugh wrote a column asking regarding Obama, So? Is he a Christian? I read it after I posted mine saying basically the same thing. I said it's ridiculous to think he's a Christian; he hasn't a clue about the most basic principles of Christianity. Limbaugh was more diplomatic, offering paragraph after paragraph of evidence then saying that his being Christian does seem a little doubtful.

It's no surprise that great minds looking at the same evidence draw the same conclusion.

My Crystal Ball
This isn't divination. You don't have to look deep into Obama's heart or soul to figure out he's not a Christian.

It's like asking him if he's a Mytown Mustangs fan.

"Oh, sure, I'm a huge Mustangs fan."

Do you think they'll go all the way this year?

"Of course, just like they did last year."

What are you talking about? They got swept by the Spurs in the first round of the playoffs last year.

"Did they? Oh. Well, I like the new red uniforms, anyway."

What red uniforms?

"Oh, they don't wear red? I thought the Blimpie Stadium required them to wear red."

They don't play in the Blimpie stadium, they never did. Their owner built them their own arena.

"Oh, yeah, good old Sammy Flynn."


"Sammy Flynn, their owner."

Vince Galloway owns the Mustangs. He always has. Hey, how 'bout that Bob Bilderberger?


Bob Bilderberger, the new center we just picked up from Creighton University.

"Oh, of course. I love Bob Gildebrand. He'll be a great offensive coordinator for the kicking team."

Uh, so you're a big Mytown Mustangs fan, huh?

"Oh, yeah, the biggest."

From the inbox . . .
Got this in an e-mail the other day.
Let's think about this for a minute. The Muslims have no Jesus, no Christmas, no television, no cheerleaders, no car races, no football, no soccer, no pork BBQ, no hot dogs, no burgers, no chocolate chip cookies, no lobster, no nachos, no beer nuts, no alcoholic beverages!

They wear rags for clothes and towels for hats. They put up with constant wailing from the guy next-door because he's sick and there are no doctors, constant wailing from the guy in the tower, on your knees facing east most of the day. More than one wife. You can't shave. Your wives can't shave. You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung. Your bride is picked by someone else. She smells just like your donkey.

Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better! I mean, really, is there a mystery as to why Muslims are suicidal?

Reading Between the Lines
Of course you've already read Ann Coulter's column where she reports on the latest insanity of the left. In response to whether or not Obama is a Muslim, Sen. Mitch McConnell (R) said "The president says he's a Christian. I take him at his word. I don't think that's in dispute." Over at MSNBC, Coulter says, that's Republican code for: "He's a Muslim!"

Chris Matthews did an hour long show about how "The president says he's a Christian. I take him at his word." really means "Pick up your pitchforks and storm the Bastille. He's an Islamic terrorist!" Someone even found the coded message to call Kentuckians to arms in that statement.

How confusing it must be to be a liberal. Do these morons carry a pocket Rosetta Stone to decipher this stuff? I wonder what the correct wording is to convey "The president says he's a Christian. I take him at his word."?

For MSNBC, this is Moore Ron Tokking. Republican Mitch McConnell said today "The salamander is in the fruit salad. I repeat, the salamander is in the fruit salad," which, of course, means "The president says he's a Christian. I take him at his word."

Just Following Instructions
You know, it's funny, 'cause I was just with Chris Matthews. I was back east and I needed to catch a plane and so did Chris Matthews, so I agreed to give him a ride to the airport.

He climbed in and buckled up and we started off. "So," he said, "What did you think about what McConnell said?"

"What, about taking Obama at his word that he's a Christian?"

"Oh, come on!" Matthews scoffed. "You know that's code for he's a Muslim. Turn left here."

"What?" I cranked the wheel and turned hard left, missing three cars only because of my finely honed superior driving skills.

"Route recalculation," the GPS said.

"But the airport's the other way," I said.

"No, it's not," Matthews said. "It's north of here."

"Route recalculation," the GPS said.

"It's south of here," I said. "That's a fact."

"Route recalculation," the GPS said.

"See?" Matthews said. "The GPS even confirms it. She said route confirmation."

"No, she didn't," I said. "She said route recalculation."

"Well, you and I both know that's code for route confirmation."

"Turn right . . . followed by . . . merge right," The GPS said.

"See, now you have to hang another left," Matthews said. "What are you doing?! Do what the GPS said! Turn left!"

"She said turn right!" I said.

Matthews scoffed. "Geez, you're so naïve."

"Make a U-turn and travel to highlighted route," the GPS said.

"Okay, smart guy, what does 'make a U-turn and travel to highlighted route' mean?" I asked.

Matthews gave me a quizzical look, like I had just asked him what year this was. "Duh!" he said. "It means park in the third stall to the left and take the elevator to the penthouse and await instructions from the midget in a tuxedo."

Fortunately Matthews had to get out to tingle down his leg, and I took off and left him behind, so I didn't miss my plane.

Saturday Day Live
You know that's a made up story because it's so ridiculous. I made it insanely unlikely on purpose so no one would think I was serious and call me a liar. It's crazy. You know I would never let someone just climb in my car and buckle up without a ten minute lecture on not slamming my car door.

I need to sit down with the liberals and explain to them how to execute humor (like I do so flawlessly here).

See, back in the day they had a show called Saturday Night Live. They would do skits that took every day situations and make them funny. After a few years SNL became not funny. For years and years and years it has been not funny.

That leaves a hole in the entertainment market that MSNBC is now trying to capitalize on.

The left just doesn't understand how to be funny. They suck at it (witness SNL). The key to being ridiculous is that it has to be a sharp contrast from accepted reality. You have to immediately go from zero to ridiculous.

The leftists' problem is that they snuck up on it. They got just a little whacked out, then a little bit more, then a little bit more. Each small step toward ludicrousness everyone thought that the left believed they were still doing serious commentary.

If the left had immediately gone to the hilarious "Purple is code word for Italian Dressing" gag, people would have caught on and been rolling in the aisles.

Religious Disagreements
Obama and I have a simple religious disagreement. He thinks he's God; I disagree.

I don't believe Obama's a Muslim. I know he's not a Christian. Obama quotes from Leviticus to cite examples of Christian doctrine. He doesn't have the first clue what Christianity is.

Obama is simply a-religious. Is that so hard to understand? He's no different from the other shallow, self-absorbed celebrities. They sympathize with the Muslims because Muslims want to destroy America. But they have no use for religion. Being religious would require accepting the concept of a Higher Power, and celebrities will never do that.

Barack Obama worships Barack Obama.

Celebrities in the News
Question: What's Lindsey Lohan up to these days?

Answer: Who cares?

I don't give a crap who's boinking whom in Hollywood. What self-absorbed celebrities do with their shallow lives is of no interest to me. So why do I waste valuable blog space venting about the biggest self-absorbed celebrity of them all, Barack Obama?

I'm glad you asked.

A Boy Scout who lives very close to where I live is working on an Eagle project. He's building a monument to honor a Marine Lance Corporal who was killed in Afghanistan.

Imagine you are the parent of a 21 year old son. Last fall you saw him off at the airport. You gave him a big hug, told him to be careful, be sure to write, take care, I love you. Last March you got a knock on your door. Two men in uniform told you that you'll never see your son again.

You'll never get to meet his fiancé; you'll never attend his wedding; you won't help when his children are born. You won't tend his children while he takes his wife to Yellowstone. You won't get the phone call saying "I'm trying to remember how you made that sandwich spread that you used to send with me to school," or "Can you come over and help me put together this new bed for Junior?" He's 21, his life was just barely starting, and he's dead. Killed by a flea-bitten caveman who's never seen a flush toilet.

If you're the President of the United States you'd better be losing sleep working your guts out to make that family's loss mean something.

If you're a Marxist piece of trash who is destroying everything that generations of 21 year old soldiers have died to preserve, you are going to burn in hell for all eternity.

Measuring Success
I once read that the measure of power is a ratio--the number of places you can access compared to the number of keys you have to carry. The janitor has little power. He has access to a lot of places, but he carries a lot of keys to get there. The CEO can get anywhere he wants but doesn't have to carry all the keys.

The measure of success is the ratio of the rolling stock you have vs. the tarps you own.

Who doesn't hate using stupid sun-rotting, wind-blowing, pain in the posterior tarps? I will know I have arrived when I never have to tarp another vehicle.

I Caught You!
Nature is interesting. It gives you a problem, but there's always a solution. You just have to figure it out.

The alien space creatures that are destroying humanity are much stronger and tougher than humans and not susceptible to our weapons. But then we discover that they avoid water. We can destroy them by splashing water on them.

The demorats are evil. They are manipulative and destructive, and they know how to play the press to make them seem the victims. But, wait a minute. Did you see that? That, right there. Every time they do something evil they broadcast the fact by accusing someone else of that very thing.

We'll be wandering around minding our own business, maybe whistling some tuneless refrain, and all of a sudden they jump out of the bushes, "Stop astro-turfing!!!" Huh? What was that all about?

We continue walking, minding our own business, but we're a little puzzled, and it finally dawns on us. Hey, the demorats must be astro-turfing somewhere.

I said awhile back that it will be sometime after Obama commits the treasonous act that results in his removal from office before we know what that act was. But that's not true. If we just pay attention he'll tell us. He can't help himself.

We'll be minding our own business and Obama will get in front of a microphone and blurt out "The Republicans are hiring mercenary firms to kidnap the families of talk show hosts who oppose their point of view!"

Trick Plays
You're familiar with the concept of astro-turfing. Demorats pull off some extensively organized, well-funded rally. They hire fleets of buses to bring people in. Then they pretend that it's a grass-roots movement. "Hey, look at that, all those people just spontaneously got on the same coach line--all by themselves!"

Demorats plant friendly people in crowds to cheer their candidates and ask questions to which the candidate can respond "Wow, that's a really good question, I've never thought about that," and then deliver a highly detailed 10 minute prepared statement.

Other evil organizations use the demorats' trick, too. You remember when Legacy Mazda had their marketing manager post on an online forum: "I don't know what all the complaints are about here. I bought a car from Legacy and they were wonderful to work with and the car was awesome and they gave me an amazing deal. I'm just a member of the regular car-buying public, not a paid employee of the company, but I want to have their baby!"

I'm embarrassed that it took me so long to see it. Hey, I've been insanely busy. I know, that's no excuse, with my Phil Hendrie background and inhuman insight I should have picked up on it right away.

People like "Kitty Carlyle," the one who posted on that remarks page about Obama dissing the Boy Scouts, are plants. When you read the "opinion" you have this picture of a citizen reading the news story and posting her opinion.

The trouble is, no human being has that opinion. No one in America is stupid enough to still buy the racism argument. There's no way that a human being that stupid would know which orifice food goes in, much less how to type actual words into a computer.

It's the White House. It's David Axelrod, sitting in his lush office surrounded by the flies that are attracted to his BO, furiously hitting every forum, cutting and pasting the same ridiculous argument.

Don't expect they will ever change. Bad coaches don't understand when their trick play has quit working. It was a cool trick play and it worked--once. Now that we're on to it, it doesn't work anymore. But the White House has no play other than "Racist!" so they keep running it.

And that's fine, 'cause we'll just keep on sacking them.

Who we are as Americans
It drives me nuts. You hear Obama speak and it sound really good, except that it has absolutely no resemblance to reality. Barack Obama is a liar. It drives me crazy. He makes ridiculous statements like "The Republicans, all they can do is politicize. We don't politicize, we just do. The Republicans, they just politicize." The man is insane.

It's just plain lying. Barack Obama is a liar, but there are a lot of liars on the planet. The problem with Obama is that enough people are stupid enough to believe the lies, no matter how ridiculous and transparent they are, because Imam Obama says it.

He takes something that's as anti-American as you can possibly get. It's so anti-American that it's . . . it's . . . well, it's so anti-American that it's something Barack Obama would support, that's how bad it is.

Then he has the nards to say "That's who we are as Americans."

What the . . . ?!

In one of his books Orson Scott Card says something about how non-Christians are always anxious to point out to Christians what Christian values are and it always seems to benefit the non-Christian. That's Obama. His "American values that we all cherish" always seem to advance his anti-American agenda. It's like the mugger saying "Don't you love the children? Would you deny the children safety and security by refusing to give me your wallet?"

You child-hating monster.

Block it out
In the glove box of every airplane with analog gauges are a few opaque suction cups. If you have an instrument failure you put this suction cup over the instrument so you can't see it. Even if you know that the instrument is telling you false information, it confuses you to have it there. You cover it up, then it can't confuse the issue.

We need an Obama-sized suction cup. That gauge is flat-out freaking broken; don't believe anything it says.

I'll say it again, Josey Wales said it best: "Don't pee down my back and tell me it's raining."

What we learned
Friday Obama says, "Hey, let's build a mosque at Ground Zero, that's a great idea!" Saturday he says "Wait a minute, I never said that. I said that the Constitution says they have every right to build a mosque at Ground Zero."

Are you with me so far? Then he says "I did not, and I WILL NOT comment on whether that's the right thing to do."

That's the money statement.

Obama's right (I can't believe the Universe didn't just explode). The Hamas-supporting Imam has every right to build a mosque where he wants. If the local zoning commission and all the others involved in deciding what buildings go where say it's okay, they have every right.

But Obama's refusal to take a moral stand is telling. Here's what we learned. First, Obama's an idiot. Anybody who didn't already know that, please raise your right hoof. He flaps his gums without engaging his brain. Mostly it's because he doesn't have to think before he talks. The state-controlled media will never call him on anything he says, no matter how stupid. Why go to the effort of thinking before speaking? There's no consequence to saying stupid things.

But he is an idiot. He has no clue how to interact in the circle of adults who make decisions and say things that people listen to. It's like when he jumped in about the Cambridge police when he had no business even having an opinion.

But here's the main thing we re-learned. He will not make a statement about what is right here. He won't take a stand. He always has an opinion about what we should eat, what car we should drive . . . the Cambridge police deal's the perfect example. None of his stinking business, but he saw his role as educating us great unwashed heathens on what's right and wrong.

On the subject of the mosque he tells us--in tones as adamant as he's ever used--that he WILL NOT comment on whether it's right or not. The President won't take a stand.

What a putz.

Where is Mohammed
Obama has a dream that he finds himself before the Pearly Gates. He is very excited; all his life he's had a burning desire to meet the Prophet Mohammed.

At the Gates of Heaven, Barack meets a man with a beard. "Are you Mohammed?" he asks.

”No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up." Peter then points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.

Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, Obama climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man. He asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"

"No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still."

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he climbs the ladder yet again. He comes to an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard. Full of hope, he asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"

"No, I am Jesus... You will find Mohammed higher up."

Mohammed higher than Jesus! Obama can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher. Once again, he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question: "Are you Mohammed?" he gasps ,as he is, by now, totally out of breath from all his climbing (and a lifetime of smoking).

"No, my son, I am Almighty God. But you look exhausted. Would you like a cup of coffee?"

"Yes! Please, my Lord."

God looks behind him, claps his hands and yells out: "Hey Mohammed! Two coffees!"

Barack, Barack, Barack. When will you ever learn?

Look, every neighborhood has one. He's the little boy that just can't help himself. He has to be causing people grief all the time. He's tipping over trash cans, taking a baseball bat to mailboxes and turpentining the sensitive parts of the neighborhood dogs and cats. But usually this little terror is smart enough to try to not get caught.

In this case little Barack runs out of the bathroom behind the snack shack at the ball park. "Hey! Little Johnny is putting cherry bombs in the toilets!" What? The people in the bleachers can see Little Johnny standing on third base playing baseball, the same place he's been all night.


Nobody at the park would've known who blew up the toilets if Little Barack had just kept his mouth shut. But he can't help himself. He has to call attention to what he's doing by accusing someone else of doing it.

A classic example is little Barack speaking at a university in Austin . . . at least I think that's the classic example.

I do remember that I was driving north just passing under the highway 6 overpass when the idea occurred to me and it was perfect. But all I remember from the moment is "Classic example of . . . " I'm pretty sure it was the demorats' tendency to accuse others of what they're guilty of and I kinda' think the classic example is the university at Austin thing. But it's like the square root of a million—we'll just never know.

Anyway, Little Barack is going on and on about how George W. Bush (who, as you'll recall, was President years ago) was ruining the economy and he's not going to go back to the failed policies of the past. As the Townhall.com cartoon, that you've undoubtedly seen, says, he's moving forward to the failed policies of his administration.

It just astonishes me how consistent Obama is. You have no idea that he's doing something evil until he stands up and accuses somebody else of something. Then it's all clear. "Okay, now we know what he's up to."

It's Math
I just bought 200 bales of straw. The reason you find this so fascinating is because last time I bought hay from this guy he said a memorable thing. Three of us were standing around trying to figure out how much I owed him. "Let's see, 75 bales at . . . hmmm." The guy said "It's math. We all have to get the same answer."

That's exactly right. That's how math works. If 4 + 3 is 7 today it will be 7 tomorrow and it will be 7 for everyone.

But you have to ask the right question.

So Barack Obama says "Okay, the economy is hemorrhaging jobs like crazy, but if it weren't for me, Da Messiah, it would have lost 1.36 million more jobs than it has." So the demorats are capable of thinking in the abstract—if it weren't for A, then B . . . unless . . .

I say that America's power prevents wars. The big guy in your high school didn't get into fights. 'Joe' says that show me one time in history when being powerful prevented a war.

Wait a minute. You want me to quote from a history book about the War of Rondo Ridge and the Parisian War of 1981 and the Guatemalan Conflict and other wars that never happened? You say that it's a simple fact that if it weren't for Da Messiah that unemployment would be at 12.7632%, but you don't believe that being strong prevents wars because those wars that never happened aren't listed in some history book?

Jimmy Carter is responsible for all the death and mayhem going on right now. That's a fact. His inability to exercise American power made us a target for every lunatic that could strap on a bag of Weed'n'Feed. Barack Obama and his attempt to be friends with Hugo Chavez and Castro and Ahmadinejad are going to result in unspeakable destruction on this planet.

Elena Kagen, the only Supreme Court Justice ever to be banned from professional wrestling for being too scary looking.

Comic Relief
"I'm not that far removed from what most Americans are going through."

This statement was made by multi-millionaire Barack Obama. That's a great comfort to those of you who have to decide between the rent and groceries. The man who is responsible for your misery only made over five million dollars last year and can relate to your struggles.

Is there a bigger horse's ass in the entire world?

Look, take eight vacations every summer. That's fine. Spend $65,000 a day vacationing with 40 of your closest friends in Spain. Do whatever you have the money to afford. That's America.

But then don't make idiotic statements like that.

Josey Wales said it best: "Don't pee down my back and tell me it's raining."

CNN in the airport
You probably know that the news feed in airport waiting lounges is provided by CNN. You know that CNN gets it wrong every single time. You know that I'm not above voicing my opinion to a television set when it's spouting something stupid.

You may not know that liberals also sometimes spend time in airport waiting lounges.

"That lady sure looked grumpy," my son observed when we got on the plane in Baltimore.

Of mosques and sensitivity
There's been a lot of hullaballoo over a radical Islamist building the Cordoba mosque at Ground Zero and dedicating it September 11, 2011. I think it's a refreshing change to see the Muslims building things instead of just blowing up stuff that other people build. I think we should embrace the change and let them build it.

Then, in the spirit of Change, we should vaporize the place.

I so flunked sensitivity training.

Who knew?
My son took off last night to spend the week with a friend. Junior and I were out and about when my wife called frantic. "So 'n' so's here to pick up Junior. Where are you guys?" I told her we'd be home in five minutes.

And we fully intended to be.

But we couldn't do that and get in the requisite amount of lollygagging, too. So after five minutes we got another call from a pissed off wife saying that Junior's friend's mom was leaving. I told her that she wouldn't be getting very far because we were coming up the driveway and would be blocking her way.

Junior's friend's mom rolled down her window and said "I'm sorry I'm in such a hurry, I have to run pick up my kids from supervised visitation."


My wife explained the situation to me later. The dad had started thumping on his wife and my son's friend had to take a knife to the guy to get him off. This is a home where my son regularly spends the night.

I couldn't believe it. This waste of skin was, to all appearances, the loving husband and father.

I didn't know the guy all that well, just saw him and chatted with him dropping off and picking up Junior. I had no clue the guy was a scumbag. But then, I wasn't very close to the situation. But closer friends of the family knew. The abused wife told my wife that friends had warned her. "He's abusive, you know." The abused wife had blown them off. No, it's not that—he's just got a strong personality . . . or whatever excuses abused wives use.

My wife had the insight to see the allegory to current events in the situation. The abusive husband is practiced at hiding who they are to casual observers. Closer friends outside the family can see what a monster he is. People inside the family work very hard to rationalize away what he is.

The abused wife is a believer now. How long before the people Obama is abusing the most wake up?

Third Worlds and Palaces
Obama supporters swear they are not being abused. Those poor fools believe the drivel coming out of the man's mouth. They honestly think that he cares whether they live or die. In all of history the most effective way politicians have exalted themselves into a ruling class is by promising to bring equality to everyone. Take a look at the luxury Obama (and his wife) wallow in. I'm not talking about the trappings of the office and the White House, which are a healthy American tradition. I'm talking about the vacations and ludicrous dining and . . . if you cared you've already informed yourself. How many of you loyal readers spend $65,000 a day on your vacation?

The man who said "At some point you've made enough money" is using our money to eat lobster at a different exotic vacation spot every night.

But you get the picture. Take Cuba, for example. Cubans are dirt poor. If you haven't seen it, you can't imagine the conditions they live under. The poorest family in America lives better than the wealthiest common citizen in Cuba. But the ruling class lives in palaces. That's the way dictators in the system Obama believes in live. How do you get people to buy into a system where they starve to death and die of disease while their "leaders" wallow in luxury?

You preach equality; class envy. The exact approach that Obama is taking.

Neal Boortz had an interesting take on it. Obama's been President for almost two years. The economic policies we live under are his. He has both the house and the senate in his pocket. Obama owns this economy.

This despite the fact that Robert Gibbs—who is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot—says that it's unfair to say that Obama is responsible for what's currently happening in the economy. No, seriously, I heard it with my own (very attractive and well-proportioned) ears. Even though Obama brags about HIS "sweeping economic reform" and has been in complete control for almost two years, Gibbs swears it's unfair to hold him responsible for any current economic conditions.

You get this. In order to get us to where Cuba is, the ruse has to continue uninterrupted until it's too late. The trend can continue as long as people keep buying the White House line, that the policies that are leading us to third world status are the right strategies, and only not working because of that nasty George Bush. If Obama's abused wives wake up before the transformation is complete, the game is over.

But Obama does own this economy.

So Boortz suggested that employers find out who in their company voted for Obama and fire them. He suggests replacing them with unemployed people who didn't vote for this mess. It makes no sense for people to suffer who didn't help cause this disaster by voting for the man. Let the Obama supporters stand in the unemployment lines they've created, while the un-deceived keep the jobs that are left. You wanted change? Here it is.

Obviously he's kidding. We don't do that here. We don't play the Red China/Allende's Chile/Pol Pot/Hugo Chavez game of only allowing you citizenship status if you are a member of The Party. Imagine how appalling it would be if in America you were discriminated against based on your politics. No, don't imagine it. Travel to Latin America and see it happen. Or look around right now and watch it happen here in Obama's America.

Listen, I'm only telling you this because I'm your friend. If you wait until your husband comes at you with a knife, there's not much I can do except cry at your funeral.

I'm not mad at you
This week my kids were working out at the rodeo arena. Janet was yelling at them. "Kick it! Kick, kick, kick! Get that leg in! Lean back! Go! Go! Go!" Then she explained "Look, I'm not yelling at you; I'm not mad. I'm just trying to get you prepared for State. I just really need you to listen to me and do what I say."

Maybe last month my son needed that reassurance. But after last week he's heard real yelling. I mentioned that we spent a day at Quantico watching Marines drill. You haven't heard yelling until you've heard a DI yelling. And for no reason. It's not like Janet's heat-of-the-moment say it loud so they can hear you get them back in line while the horse is running yell. It's finding any excuse—or none at all—to be offensive to another human being.

In the PX: "What the *** Wilson, do you think money's going to come out of that machine?" NO SIR GUNNERY SEARGENT SIR! "Are you trying to steal from my Corps?" NO SIR GUNNERY SEARGENT SIR! "Then why the *** are you standing there *** around? Huh? Get the *** out of my PX!"

The official explanation is that the DI breaks you down as an individual then builds you up as a team. I guess that's one way to word it. I'd say the exercise is to get you over your hang-ups about social niceties. So Gunney's yelling at me. Big deal. That didn't hurt.

You're about to get dropped off in a foreign country where you are completely disoriented, don't understand a word that's being said, and people who have never seen a flush toilet are trying to kill you. If you get your feelings hurt by a raised voice you are in deep yogurt.

Conservatives are flunking boot camp. It's the Civility Gambit I've flapped my gums about endlessly. Liberals understand very well the kind of social norms we live under, and they know that all they have to do is accuse us of crossing those and they can manipulate us any way they please.

Ann Coulter wrote about it again last week in With friends like these, who needs Olbermann? It's the same old trick. A democrat murders somebody. The Republican doesn't want to seem partisan, so he says "Well, I think both sides are guilty of criminal behavior," referring to the time a Republican kept a library book out past the due date. As Ann Coulter says, "Never bet against the Republicans knuckling under." Surprisingly, Ann coulter says it better than I do. Read the column.

I know you've got a printed copy of Michelle Malkin's landmark How the Left Fakes Hate: A Prime. within easy reach. She talks about the same sort of thing.

This ties back to my friend 'Rod' who said that he went to the democrats' caucuses and they seemed nicer than the Republicans. So the Republicans are concerned with hammering out sound policy while the democrats are putting their energy into being nice (or at least painting the Republicans as being mean).

What value is being nice if you're lying and wrecking the country? It's like the burglar who breaks into your home and takes everything of any value. But while he's there he washes the dishes for you. What a nice guy, he's welcome in my house any time.

In defense of ideals
You know the deal. You have your ideologues and your pragmatics. The Clintons are communist sympathizers. But they're willing to support policy they hate because that's the only way to keep power in a democracy. Obama is an ideologue. He won't give an inch even though he knows it will hurt him politically. We've discussed this before, you and I.

My wife bought two things at K-Mart, and submitted the rebate forms for both. They gave her the run-around for weeks then stiffed her out of one of the rebates. She said she'd never shop at K-Mart again . . . until they had blank DVDs on sale. It didn't make sense to cut off her nose to spite her face.

Last week I was hurrying to get the rental car back to the airport. The GPS guided me to a gas station that had regular for 2.55 per gallon. It was a Citgo. I passed it right by and paid 2.67/gallon at a Shell station further up the road from where I needed to go. There's no way that I am going to give money to Hugo Chavez.

There's nothing wrong with standing by your ideals if they're right.

Math Problems
As long as I've typed my opinion to someone in an e-mail, I figure I can enhance my efficiency by posting it so that all three people who read my blog can see it, too.

'Joe' asked me for some product pictures. I sent him some. He said he was hoping for some different ones, too. He said "I wanted the ones you sent and was hoping for the ones you didn't..." So I got in an oblique dig alluding to a Rumsfeld quote: "I guess you go to war with the pictures you have, not the pictures you want . . . "

'Joe' came back with "Best not to go to war at all..." and I replied "I don't know a single soul who would disagree with you."

When he said "You're making progress..." I replied with:

You put a quarter in this jukebox. Do you want to hear the whole song?

My son's Eagle project is erecting a flagpole at the Salem arena.

Last month we pulled into the parking lot at church. I pointed out a new Corvette to my son. We walked past it on the way in. There were gold stars on the back window.

You've heard of the gold star families. That man lost a son in Afghanistan. I can't imagine what it's like to bury a son. There's no worse violation of the natural order of things than fathers burying sons.

So my son is putting a monument to this boy on the flagpole base for his Eagle project.

A family is missing a son. They've been deprived of watching him marry, playing with grandkids, helping him through career decisions. A twenty-one year old boy, gone forever because of some pretty nebulous policies in a country where we aren't doing one bit of good.

It's a pretty compelling argument for not going to war.

The fallacy is to believe that not sending boys to die in wars means young boys don't die. I'm flapped my gums about this before. As long as Evil exists people die in wars.

My wife is reading "Prophecy, key to something or another." It's like living with Ron. She's telling me all the disasters that we have to look forward to. She says "Sez here that America will be caught up in a foreign war. I don't understand. Obama's not going to lead us into war."

What? Sure he is. His weenie approach with Ahmadinejad, Hugo Chavez, et al, is an absolute prescription for war. Evil loves to hear "Why can't we all be friends?" Jimmy Carter has massive blood on his hands. Reagan kept us out of war. "You don't want to mess with the US. You will come out hurting."

Remember back to high school. Big guys don't get in fights. You prevent war by being strong enough to kill bad guys. 21 year old Lance Corporals get killed in the process. It's a math problem. The massive death toll from the nuclear weapons in Japan saved lives.

Not that I have an opinion one way or another on the matter . . .

And finally
This article by Ben Shapiro talks about how Obama's policies are doing exactly the opposite of what he's telling us they are. Is he stupid or is he an evil genius? Shapiro says "Hoover was wrong and so are Obama and his lackeys. And just like Hoover, Obama will take measures that are economically feasible in a strong economy but absolutely disastrous in a weak one."

Historic Firsts
Barack Obama made history last week as the first ever President to ever go on a daytime television show—ever. Can you imagine it? Daytime TV! What a groundbreaker this man is. News outlets were breathless with the historicity of the moment. An historic first—the Ruler of the Free World chatting it up with a group of gossipy ladies during working hours.

As an encore, next week Obama is planning to become the first ever sitting President to be arrested for exposing himself on the cross-town bus.

This isn't rocket science folks. Just because something's never been done doesn't mean it's a good thing to do. I wonder if there might be a reason responsible leaders of a nation with serious work to do have never dedicated their time to daytime TV shows. Hmmm.

I happened to be in the Washington DC area while all this was going on. I spent Wednesday watching seriously squared-away Marines drill at Quantico OCS. That night in the hotel room I watched clips of their Commander-in-Chief sitting cross-legged yucking it up with a coffee klatch about what tunes he had on his iPod.

Talk about a contrast.

More history
I know this isn't anywhere near the level of a President going on The View, but this year marks the 100th anniversary of the Boy Scouts of America. The National Jamboree was shifted to this year to commemorate that occasion. As honorary President of the BSA, Obama was invited to attend the festivities on Saturday night.

Because of the historic taping of the view on Wednesday, and other fund raiser for democrats in New York that day, Obama was unable to attend the National Scout Jamboree . . . which took place over the space of ten days in Fort AP Hill, Virginia, just outside Washington DC. Instead he sent us a videotaped message on Saturday night.

Maybe future presidents will have access to some kind of aircraft that would enable them to make the 15 minute flight on Saturday after being in New York on Wednesday.

Now there's a historic first that would be useful.

I don't have to tell you what's going on here. The kind of people who go to Boy Scout Jamborees don't want to be around conspiring socialists any more than conspiring socialists want to be around the Boy Scouts of America. What would Obama's boss, George Soros, have to say if Obama were caught keeping company with a group whose oath starts out with "On my honor"?

But I am encouraged that there are still some deep-thinking, highly intelligent souls who are intellectually honest enough to share their original wisdom with us. Here's one you read on the comments page from the link to the story, posted by a brain surgeon who calls him/her/it self "Kitty Carlyle":

Posted 07:24 AM, 07/30/2010
truth B told you all can't stand him because........hes.......BLACK.
Our future is bright indeed with such incisive minds manning the critical controls in the blogosphere.

I'm baa-ack.
Didja miss me? You might have noticed that I didn't post anything over the last week and a half. That's because I was gone. You can tell I was gone because of size of the break--I usually go two and a half weeks between posts.

Here's the deal with blogs. You post on them to keep people apprised of what you're doing and thinking. Kind of like a diary that you don't try to hide from your sister. They are designed to provide a play-by-play when people do things interesting—like attending a 100 year commemorative National Boy Scout Jamboree.

No offense, but when I'm doing something interesting, I've got better things to do than bore you with a running description of it. I figure if you wanted to know you'd ask.

This next picture involves a little imagination exercise. Imagine scores of thousands of boy scouts. Imagine hot, humid weather. Imagine an ice cream vending booth "manned" by an extremely well put together young lady wearing temperature-appropriate clothing.

Now imagine the next day when this sign is posted in the booth:

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