Oh, wait . . . that's from an alternate universe
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A comedy for those who think
9.30.13
Sorry for the mid-week post, but half of these cartoons will be irrelevant in a few hours.
The way Obama (among others) talks about the Tea Party is just disgusting. His side is working really hard to try make the term "Tea Party" an expression of disdain. In his feeble mind he's not really the President of the whole United States. He's only concerned with that portion of the nation that worships him.
The man is trash.
Fun Facts about the AR-15
9.25.13
This is an excellent
list written (I think) by Frank J. Fleming.
In fact, just put his blog in
your bookmarks.
- The inventor of the AR-15 was Satan, though his patent has since expired.
- Scientists have confirmed the deadly effects of an AR-15 by giving it to a chimpanzee who then murdered them.
- Scientists agree that each year the AR-15 will grow more deadly until it kills everyone in the entire world.
- Some believe that Hitler was in fact an AR-15 in a rubber mask.
- In the Garden of Eden, God gave Adam and Eve access to every firearm out there except for the AR-15 which he told them not to touch because it was too evil. But then the NRA, in the guise of a serpent, told Eve that the AR-15 is really fun to shoot. So then Eve took the AR-15 and started shooting all the animals in the garden because she is one awesome chick.
- The part that makes the AR-15 so extra deadly is the handle on top. The AR-15 would be used in less murders if it were more inconvenient to carry.
- It was an AR-15 that told Miley Cyrus to dance like that.
- Bullets that are normally harmless will kill instantly when fired out of the AR-15.
- The reason AR-15s have that prominent handle on them is because the most requested feature for an assault rifle was to be able to carry it like a Hello Kitty lunch box.
- If you find yourself surrounded by AR-15, know that they will fire automatically if they sense fear.
- The AR-15 is easily concealable and can fit inside a matchbox.
- The AR-15 is the leading cause of global warming from how its bullets shoot holes in the ozone.
- A very small percentage of gun deaths are attributed to the AR-15 because it is very good at disguising itself as other guns to frame them.
- What are the differences between an M16 and an AR-15? Scientists agree that it is something.
- The AR-15 can be rendered harmless by giving it only a 10 round magazine as people always miss with the first ten rounds and an AR-15 takes an hour and a half to reload.
- The AR-15 can shoot through schools.
- In a battle between Aquaman and an AR-15, Aquaman would break down and buy it so people might think he’s more manly.
- There were no shooting deaths until the invention of an AR-15. No one even considered using a gun to shoot another human being until someone saw an AR-15 and said, “I bet I could use this to kill people.”
- There was an assault musket similar to the AR-15 used by the world’s most evil pirates, but it was pronounced “Arrr-15.”
- The Assault Weapon ban was needed because it is well known that an AR-15 with both a pistol grip and a flash suppressor would be unstoppable by any modern military.
- In Europe there is no such thing as an AR-15 and thus also no such thing as murders. Instead of being violent, people there just drink wine and smoke cigarettes all day.
- If the AR-15 were banned, it’s believed all gun deaths would end because even gun murders that didn’t use the AR-15 were inspired by the evil sight of that gun.
- If you are shot by an AR-15, you become one.
- The AR-15 is responsible for 95% of all deaths each year. The rest of the deaths are from obesity and drone strikes.
It's Wednes . . . day!
9.18.13
As promised, here's my Wednesday post.
Okay . . . I know, I know. Next week I'll post it in time for Wednesday instead of just before midnight on Wednesday.
Anybody see a dead horse around here?
There are three kinds of bloggers—thinkers, stinkers, and linkers. I'll start out being the most boring of those, the thinker.
I know that I'm supposed to post today on the Naval Yard shooting. Sorry, there's nothing to say on that. It's all the same
deal you've seen. Someone shoots something up, then the idiot liberals start yelling it's a Tea Partier. Then it turns out to
be a liberal. Every single time. Then they figure that gun control is the answer.
Idiots.
No, on second thought, I'm going to beat that dead horse, too.
I'm going to say it yet again: The problem is not that he had a gun. The problem is that he had a gun and no one else did.
Did we learn nothing from Fort Hood?
It's a balance of power deal. There are two sides to the equation—he had the power not just because he had the gun, but
because . . .
If you don't get it you never will.
Mark Twain is credited with saying "Complex problems all have easy to understand answers . . . that are wrong." I don't have
the quick, easy solution that will make this never happen again. I don't want everyone walking around open carrying guns. I
drive on the roads. I understand that 80% of the people on this planet are morons.
I do know what won't help: Taking guns away from good guys.
It will happen again. And people will die in car crashes, and people will die from prescription medication, and people will
slip in their showers and bump their head and die, and people will have heart attacks while jogging. It will happen again,
and the liberals will try to leverage it to take guns away from good guys.
I repeat: Idiots.
They are fighting so hard to douse our society with gasoline without realizing they're going to die in the ensuing fire along
with everyone else.
Idiots. Complete freaking idiots.
The other funny thing this time was how they just made crap up. Well, they always do. Every time. You remember Bloomberg on the Times
Square Bombing. Just make up fiction before you have the first fact. This time it was just bizarre: "The guy had an AR-15!"
I'm surprised someone stopped Piers Morgan before he finished reporting that it was Sarah Palin carrying a Bible in one hand
and her AR-15 in the other shooting everyone who didn't look white.
These morons couldn't tell an AR-15 from an F-15 if you gave them three guesses. But they know that AR-15s are bad!
One more . . . and I'm being a stinker, not a thinker now . . .
Then they start reporting that they witnessed with their own eyes Secret Service agents engaging with multiple suspects at the
White House.
Omigosh! The White House is under assault in coordination with the Naval Yard attack! Okay, so by "engage" you 're saying . . .
I mean, you saw agents in a firefight with the bad guys, right?
Well, I didn't see them actually shoot.
Oh, but they had their guns out.
I assume they had guns . . .
Out?
Well, they always carry guns . . .
'Turns out someone threw a firecracker over a fence at the White House.
Dead Horses Everywhere
I got so caught up in that boring diatribe I have to start a new post for the boring diatribe I intended to do.
I was going to talk about traffic--analyzing waves and harmonics. That deal I was flapping my gums about where you try to
understand the systemic effects of things that happen. It can get into some complex mathematics. Some of the effects are
very subtle and nebulous.
Others should be pretty freaking obvious.
Let's say you make a law that forces companies who have more than fifty full-time employees to provide health insurance for
them. What are companies going to do?
Who didn't see that one coming?
The Bevy of zombie shows is not fiction. There's a significant portion of our country that is just Joe Biden dumb.
That's one view. The other angle is that the people doing this are crazy like a fox. You'd have to be as dumb as John Kerry to
not understand that that one element alone is going to crash the economy. So if you're smarter than that—say as smart as the
average dead squirrel on the highway—you have to be evil to propose that. You have to be intending to destroy the economy.
But it does come back around to mindless zombies. If you are the one coordinating the collapse of the economy, you are counting
on everyone else being stupider than that redneck Frisbee* on the highway. 'Cause they have to nod their heads and say "Yep, yep,
yep. Barack Obama is trying to get the economy back on track."
The name of this theme is "With all thy getting get understanding."
"We keep raising taxes but we aren't getting higher revenues!" Yeah, who knew that raising your prices might not bring in more
business? "What's happening? I don't understand!"
It's the FDR thing—"We are stuck in this awful depression. Thank God for all of FDR's programs! Think how awful it would be
without them!"
Today's generation of idiots are saying "The economy is not recovering! It's not recovering in spite of Obamanomics! Omigosh,
oh man, oh heavens to Betsy, we have to implement more Obamanomics!"
Those are the fools who get drunk to dull the pain, never realizing the drink is the source of their pain.
*In my day dried out flattened squirrels on the road were called Polish Frisbees. Nobody tells Pollack jokes anymore, so I
adapted it to be a redneck Frisbee
A Break
There's the thinking and the stinking. Let's take a break and do some linking.
First, a link to a think. Here's a book you should read. It's actually a few books.
Print it off if it gives it more credibility for you. But read it. Just do it.
These works of Bastiat are an absolute must for anyone who has ever expressed an opinion about something political.
Okay, on to the toons.
Back to work
My ramblings about wave harmonics and fluid dynamics and widgitronic pharpalogics is all about understanding what's
going on that's not immediately obvious.
You’ve heard of the concept of dynamic scoring. This is like what happens when you raise or lower prices. You run a
spreadsheet to see how much more money you're going to get if you raise prices. The trouble is that the number of
customers you have now is going to change—it's dynamic. Same thing with lowering prices. You multiply your customers
by the new, lower price, and you've lost money. But when you lower prices you're going to get more customers.
I'm talking about understanding and seeing the effects that are beneath the surface.
In the price/customers example the number of customers is an uncertainty. That's how it is in all of this stuff. But you
can use mathematical magic to home in on it.
Here's an example of what I'm talking about:
The unseen damage done to society by the Buy Here/Pay Here dealers. There are cascading effects of what they do—the money
that they take out of circulation without increasing the goods or services in circulation. Yes, they circulate the money
they get, but it's at a higher entropy.
This is the same thing as the entropy from those BS fees and stuff that increase the price without increasing the value.
When you sell your home you have to sell it for 6% more than its value to cover the realtors (more than that when you
factor all the BS fees in) because you paid more than it's worth for stuff that had nothing to do with the brick and
carpeting and fixtures. You paid the money, but you didn't get any more value for it.
Understanding is like riding a dirt bike—you don't want to grab the handles too hard. Just kinda' go with the general
direction and see if you can follow what I'm trying to convey to you. It's like the 3D pictures in the mall—you see it when
you don't focus so hard.
I'm trying to convey that the general health and outlook of society is affected by sub-currents that you can't see on the
surface.
Lawyers are the best example of entropy in society. Whoa . . . I'd better save that for another time.
But think of the effects of low-level stress multiplied over the entire population. Jimmy Carter's malaise. When the economy
sucks it causes the economy to suck. Depressed people are less productive people. They get in more accidents . . . that kind
of stuff.
I really should sort this crap out better before I try to explain it to you . . .
Is range anxiety real?
When I first saw the title of this I thought "Range? Like home on the range?" I wondered why there'd be an article in an
engineering publication about people being afraid of the plains. Then I saw that it was talking about driving range, and
I thought that made no sense, 'cause everyone loves the driving range, it's putting that bites.
But it turns out that
this article
is about whether it's rational to worry about the fact that your electric car is going to run out of batteries and leave you
stranded because the range on those tin cans sucks so bad.
Then I read this one that says that
Volt owners
have more money than brains.
Data and Lore
It occurred to me how intriguing it is that some people are smart enough to track Jupiter in retrograde in alignment with
Saturn, but not perceptive enough to see that Astrology is pure crap.
This realization came to me in the context of contemplating someone I know who has the ability to remember the tiniest details
about whacked out conspiracy theories, but he can't step back and see that the whole this is pure BS.
This is a right brain/left brain kind of deal. For lack of better terminology I call it Data/Lore.
You might be wondering what this has to do with the fact that Obama is a despicable human being and an inept president.
This:
Michael Medved was explaining how Obama is both head of state and head of the government. That's a dual role that's
performed by one person in the United States. The UK has two different people running those two jobs.
But Medved pointed out that Obama doesn't want to be head of government. That's too much work. He wants to fly around and
give speeches and have people bow down and tell him how wonderful he is. And he's good at that. But as someone who runs
government, he sucks a golf ball up a garden hose.
Limbaugh today (this was on 5.21, but the date doesn't matter 'cause he does all the time) was again touting the Limbaugh
theorem. That his feigning idiocy--he might call it detachment--is an orchestrated strategy to keep from owning anything that
goes wrong. "People still don't understand . . . " he was saying.
All due respect—Limbaugh has a lot of stuff figured out, but he's wrong on this one.
It's not a brilliant conscious strategy. It's just Obama's nature. He doesn't like detail work but he likes people patting him
on his little head and giving him a cookie.
Medved has it figured out better.
Don't worry
There are a lot of places you could go with the Data/Lore thing—the duality of concepts that encompass both detail and
texture; the art and the science; mechanical expertise and tonal virtuosity.
For example, there's . . .
Ha-hah! Just kidding. I got you! I'm not going to do that to you today.
I'll see you next Wednesday.
Second Wednesday of This Week
9.12.13
Dang it! I missed it!
Ann Coulter posts every Thursday. So I was going to try to post every Wednesday. That way she can draw from my great ideas and you can see that I'm not stealing hers.
Oh, well. You get the post on Thursday this week. And all it is is cartoons. I'll bet Ann Coulter didn't do that, did she? Huh? Did she?
See ya' next Wednesday.
My mouth wrote a check your sons have to cash!
9.05.13
The blog for this last month . . . or two . . . has been a good example of why I did the random
post Billy's Blog deal. If you're coming here looking for relevant material about what's going on,
you'll not find a recent post. But never fear. Click on that link and you'll get a pertinent blog.
Sure, it's one I wrote a while ago, but not so long ago that people were any less stupid than they are now.
I should post here more often—not because there's anything in my life that's lower priority than this.
Rather because by the time I finally turn my notes into a blog you'll think I stole them from
Ann Coulter, when exactly the opposite is true.
I am talking about the obligatory blog topic: Syria.
Does anyone not have this figured out? Obama shot off his mouth about a "red line" and made
himself look like a weenie. So now he's willing to go to war to save face.
Terrorist threats against the United States weren't enough justification to action. Any threat
against the United States isn't enough to drive him to action. But insult him . . . whoa buddy!
Pah, just read Ann coulter's column. She says it so much better than I had in my notes.
You know what this reminds me of? This is exactly what happened during the 2008 election. Jeremiah
Wright was spouting all his stuff about how horrible America is. Obama gave a big speech defending him.
But the second Wright said that "Obama is just another politician" Obama dumped him hard. You remember.
Here's another one I found while looking for that one, but it's not as good.
Blame it on . . . whomever!
You know that Obama sees himself as King. Congress is just an impediment to him. So he shoots his mouth
off about how he's in charge and he's going to take action and he doesn't need Congress.
Then he makes this big announcement that he's going to "seek Congress's approval" after he already said
that he didn't need to.
And he presented it like it's some great laudable step.
"Hey, people, I want to announce that I'm going to pay my rent!"
My son figured it out.
A few years ago we were on a canoe trip with the scouts. We stopped our canoe by the side of the river and
were jumping off a cliff into the water. One scout sat on the cliff trying to get his courage up while my
son and I jumped off, climbed the cliff, jumped again . . . the whole time this scout stood there,
approaching the edge, then backing off . . .
Then the scoutmaster's canoe came around the bend of the river. "Hey! You guys get down from there!
This is a BSA sanctioned event—their insurance won't cover this!" My son and I looked at each other.
You heard the man. We jumped down, off the cliff into the water.
The scout who had been on the cliff (he was older than my son, lest you think I'm making fun of some
little boy who has yet to earn his Tenderfoot) started climbing down the hill, all the time complaining,
"Darn it all! Why does he have to go and ruin all our fun?! I wanted to jump off but he wouldn't let me!
If it weren't for him . . . !"
Barack Obama is spreading the blame (shades of the Limbaugh Theorem). Congress is the new George Bush.
He's transferring whatever happens to Congress and he hopes Congress will shoot him down and he can do a
David Cameron.
And then . . . is your blood boiling like mine? "America's reputation is on the line. It's not my
reputation." He said that. Who says that? Michelle Bachmann lost a nomination for that kind of childish
statement.
Obama's reputation is all that's on the line, and he had the chutzpah to say America's reputation is on
the line for him spouting off his mouth like a pencil neck little twerp in a bar.
Holy . . .
The incompetence of the man is astonishing. There is nothing he can't screw up.
The Middle East is an impossible situation even for someone with a brain. But in the hands of Barack Obama,
who is a special kind of idiot, it become Stephen King meets The Family Guy.
I was elected to end wars, not start them. I’ve spent the last four and half years trying to reduce our reliance on military. We have to make hard choices if we’re going to stand up for things we believe in."
What he believes is that he looks like a little weenie. Hey, look! We found something I agree with him on!
John Kerry is an idiot
But us not going to war with Syria is equivalent to us not doing anything after the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor.
Remember back in the day when adults were in charge?
Breaking Bad
Years ago we took some young girls in our family to a dance. The two were cousins, one was a good girl and one . . . well, wasn't. We dropped them off at the dance and went back to pick them up later. They were gone. We . . . just so you know, I do understand what a boring analogy this is. I really do. But it's the one that came to mind as applicable . . .
Anyway, we might have expected that from one girl, but not from the other. We waited around and eventually they showed up and we asked them what the deal was. They had taken off with some boys. It all turned out okay, but when we talked to the "good" girl later in private she said she went along to keep the other one out of trouble.
I know, it's a stupid analogy. I should've made up a story, it would've been better, but the point is that a creative person can conceive circumstances where a good person will do things that they wouldn't normally do.
The creative writers of 24 did this all the time. Some bad guy was working with the terrorists and they were trying to figure out who it was. Then it turned out it was one of the good guys. The terrorists had his kid and were forcing him to go along.
It takes some imaginative arranging, but you can create circumstance where good people get in situations where they feel forced to bad things.
I'm talking about America. How in the name of Dale Q. Earnhardt did we elect a waste of skin like Barack Obama?
Yes, I am going to jump right to this analogy. Whenever you think of evil government you don't go too far before you see Nazis at the top of that hill. The German people weren't bad. How did they go along with that?
I'm not sure I fully understand, but part of it was how desperate they were economically. If someone can promise to feed your children you don't care that much about his politics.
Bottled Water
In America I do understand how it happened. It's because Barack Obama is black. The fact that you just blanched at that statement is proof that I'm right.
If he were white and had his incompetence and temperament and background and complete lack of experience he'd be working the night shift at Circle K. Nobody else could get away with the stupidity that he daily demonstrates. Government has never been the ideal "We work for the people" deal, but it's never had such an in-your-face lack of accountability as it does now. It's like they're daring us to call them out on how stupid and evil they are.
It's the Bottled Water Syndrome. Nobody is going to admit that there's nothing to it, because that reflects on their sophistication. They want you to think they're enlightened. They can see the emperor's clothes.
The genius is that the water doesn't have to be anything. In fact, it's best that way. If it had any taste at all you could have judgment. But whatever it tastes like you won't say it's bad, because that reflects on you. Everyone else is sophisticated enough to like it, what's your problem?
I'll say it—it's just tap water.
Barack Obama is a waste of skin. He happens to be a black, but he's just tap water, same as tap water of any race. I'm not going to pretend he's champagne 'cause I don’t give a crap if your opinion about me is wrong.
Ancient History
I talked about JFK's dad buying the election in Chicago. I wasn't sure how that went down, but here are the facts.
The concept came from JFK joking about it in response to people talking about his rich dad buying the election. He said
"I have just received the following telegram from my generous father: 'Dear Jack: Don't buy a single vote more than is necessary. I'll help you win this election, but I'll be damned if I'm going to pay for a landslide!'"
Let's take a breather
Where have you heard this before?
Continuing the theme of my take on Syria that Ann Coulter posted before I did, I was intrigued to hear
Glenn Beck the other day figuring out what I had explained to you. The President lives well beyond his salary.
He didn't understand it as well as I do, of course, but I hope you read this before you listen to him so you'll be ahead of the game.
More ancient history
Oprah and race . . . that story's so old you don't even remember it. I used to respect her. Not so much now. What a self-righteous bitty.
The interesting thing is that it took place right around the Voter ID deal. They, meaning liberals, say that voter ID is racist. They just say it, but they say it first and they shout it. So it has to be true.
It's bullcrap. Why does requiring everyone to show ID exclude minorities?
Their view is racist. They are saying that minorities are too stupid to have IDs.
With all thy getting, get understanding.
Think about this for one second. If minorities are disproportionately represented in democrat regions, why would taking a percentage of all voters hurt them. Just use your brain for a second.
Twenty-nine dollars
I love this puzzle because it's so applicable to the way people try to deceive you.
Three guys walk into a buffet, they ask how much it costs. The server says it's $10 each. They each pay $10, get their food and go to their table.
The maître d asks the waiter how much he charged them, the server says $10 each, the maître d says "We're running a special today, 3 for $25, take them back $5."
On the way to the table the waiter wonders how three guys are going to split five dollars, so he keeps two and gives them back three dollars.
Okay. So they each paid ten and got back one, so they each paid nine dollars. Between all three of them they paid $27. Plus the $2 the server kept makes $29. What happened to the other dollar?
They paid thirty to start, right? Where's the other dollar?
They paid 30, but they got back 3, so they paid 27. Plus the 2 that the server kept, totals $29. What happened to the other dollar?
Here's the answer: The $2 the server kept is part of what they paid.
The premised is pushed onto you while you're totaling everything in your head, so you just accept it. Yeah! What did happen to the other dollar?
It should be "They paid 27 plus the 3 they got back equals the 30."
Liberals do this to you all the time. All. The. Time.
"Do you want minorities to be denied the right to vote?" What? NO! We certainly do not! "Then we can't require ID at the polls!" Yeah! Down with ID at the polls! Down with ID at the polls!
"Do you want young black men gunned down in the streets?" NO! "Then we have to repeal stand your ground laws!" Yeah! Right on! Yeah, let's do that!
"Do you want pregnant women starving to death?" NO! "Then we have to mandate paid maternity leave!" Yeah, woo-hoo! Let's do that!
"Do you want the world to burn up?" NO! "Then you have to have sex with Bill Clinton!" Yeah! We have to do that! Omigosh, why haven't we done that already?! Omigosh omigosh omigosh let's do that now before we all die!
Think it through. Don't fall for the accounting tricks.
And finally . . .
Michelle Malkin wrote
this great piece called Three Forgotten Facts About the Fort Hood Massacre.
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