Leany on Life -- January 2010

On This Day in Revisedrealityville History

Meanwhile, over in an Alternate Universe

After I posted about my dinner with Robert Gibbs I remembered another call I got from David Axelrod. I remembered the call, coincidentally, while I was in the shower—which, by another sheer coincidence is where I get all my best ideas . . .

Continued below
(Best viewed with a mind not clouded by the Kool-Aid)

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What to do until the Blog arrives

The Litter-ature novel is here. I update it regularly--every time Jennifer Love Hewitt tackles me and sticks her tongue in my ear.

LoL Cartoons

Logic Primer

Duke Boys Car Chase

Pipe Intersections

Gymkhana Practice

Programmable Calendar

Compass Course Spreadsheet

Complete Orienteering Course Files Updated!

Things you may not know about Sarah Palin

Handy Units Conversion Utility

Amazing Grace on the Sax

Obama's Magic 8 Ball


The John Galt Society

It can be discouraging to look around at who's running the show these days and wonder "Where have all the grown-ups gone?"

Take heart. There are still some people who are not drinking the Kool-aid. Here's where to find them.

Michelle Malkin
Michelle Malkin is a feisty conservative bastion. You loved her book "Unhinged" and you can read her columns here.
Ann Coulter

Ann posts her new column every Thursday, or you can browse her past columns.
George Will
What can you say? It's George Will. Read it.
Charles Krauthammer posts every Friday. Just a good, smart conservative columnist.
If you want someone who gets it just as right, but is easier to read, try Thomas Sowell, who just posts at random times.
Jonah Goldbert seldom disappoints.
David Limbaugh carries on the family tradition.

Jewish World Review has all these guys plus lots more good stuff.

Or you can go to radio show sites like
 Laura Ingraham's or Glenn Beck's or Rush Limbaugh's..

If you'd like you can study The Constitution while you wait.

Then there's always World Net Daily, NewsMax.com, The Drudge Report, FreeRepublic.com, News Busters, or National Review Online.

For the Lighter Appetite

If you have to read the news, I recommend The Nose on Your Face, news so fake you'd swear it came from the Mainstream Media. HT to Sid for the link.
Or there's always The Onion. (For the benefit of you Obama Supporters, it's a spoof.)

Dave Barry's Column
Daryl Cagle's Index of Political Cartoons
About half of these cartoonists are liberal (Latin for wrong) but the art is usually good. (Fantastic, if you're used to the quality of art on this site.)

Or just follow the links above and to the right of this section (you can't have read all my archived articles already). If you have read all my articles (you need to get out more) go to my I'm Not Falling For It section.

Above all, try to stay calm. Eventually I may post something again.

Today's Second Amendment Message

Latest Blog (continued)

Interpreting the Message

After I posted about my dinner with Robert Gibbs I remembered another call I got from David Axelrod. I remembered the call, coincidentally, while I was in the shower—which, by another sheer coincidence is where I get all my best ideas for blog posts. (If the number of good ideas I post is any indicator, I post more often than I shower.)

Anyway, Axelrod said "I wonder if we could have a little visit over dinner."

"I don't know what we'd have to talk about," I said.

"Well, I was hoping we could find a way to work together."

"I found a way," I said. "You guys start doing it our way, we'll be working together."

"You know what I mean."

"Sure, I do. You mean 'cooperation' means I do it your way."

" C'mon, don't be that way," Axelrod said. "I'm buying,"

"In other words I'm buying, I'm just doing it through the tax system."

So Axelrod and I found ourselves sitting in a nice restaurant downtown with him explaining to me that America wanted socialized medicine.

"How do you figure?" I asked.

Axelrod scoffed. "Well, weren't you watching what happened in Massachusetts?"

"Of course. You got your fanny whipped. The people spoke loud and clear. They said 'Keep your hands off our health care!' "

Axelrod chuckled. "Well, I guess I can understand how someone who's not well-versed in politics could see it that way. The people sent a message—a strong message. They are happy with what we are doing and want us to move faster. It's clear to anyone who understands these things. The same thing that swept Scott Brown into office swept Obama into office."

"That's what you got from Massachusetts?"

"That's right," Axelrod said. "People are angry and they're frustrated. Not just because of what's happened in the last year or two years, but what's happened over the last eight years."

"So the people of Massachusetts voted for Scott Brown 'cause they were mad at Bush?"

"That's exactly right," he said. "That's the only way you can interpret what happened."

"You're delusional," I said.

Axelrod cut off a bite of steak. He started chewing on it then he gestured at me with his fork. "Look, all I'm saying is that we inherited a mess." Axelrod coughed.

I didn't say anything, but I made a motion with my hand that Axelrod might have interpreted as shaking a bottle of soda pop.

"We had to . . . " Axelrod coughed again. With some difficulty he said "We had to salvage a financial system that . . . " He stopped talking. His face started turning red.

Axelrod dropped his fork. He started pointing at his throat.

"Oh, I agree," I said, pointing at my own throat. "That is some good steak."

Axelrod brought both hands up and crossed them back and forth across his throat.

"Oh, you're right about that, too." I said. "The salmon would have been a good choice as well."

Axelrod cupped his fist in his hand. He started pushing on his solar plexus. To me it looked like someone imitating the Heimlich maneuver, but then, I'm not very well-versed in those matters. I think he might have been trying to stand up.

As the ambulance crew zipped the body bag over Axelrod's face I leaned over him and said "This has absolutely nothing to do with what just happened, but I think I'm going to 'change focus' now." I gestured toward his plate. "You gonna' finish that?"

It's a Tragedy
The death toll in Haiti is going to end up over 100,000. As bad as that sounds, it still broke my heart to hear about one 10 year old boy who died in a fire in Salt Lake. And I had enough compassion left to feel bad about the snowmobiler who was smothered under his own machine and the snowboarder who died in an avalanche last week.

But hey, what does that matter. If you really want to throw a pity parade, think about the man who killed Mary Jo Kopechne dying without ever realizing his lifelong dream of socializing Amerika. If that doesn’t get you, imagine Conan O'Brien getting 32 million dollars to assuage the heartache of getting bounced off his lifelong dream.

HT to Sis for the idea.

Dinner with the family guy
Robert Gibbs called me the other night. He said "I understand you've been critical of The President's efforts to provide all Americans with quality, affordable health care."

"Well," I said, "I am opposed to cramming socialism down our throats, if that's what you mean."

"Relax, relax," Gibbs said, "I'm not trying to pick a fight. I just want to help you understand our position."

I didn't say anything.

"Look," he said, "The President gets it. He knows that a lot of people don’t understand what he's trying . . . "

"Oh, so I'm the stupid one. Is that it?"

"Hold on, hold on," he said. "Look, since you're a highly influential blogger we just thought we could sit down and chat."

I didn't say anything.

"Maybe over some dinner."

"I'm in," I said.

So Gibbs and I found ourselves sitting in a nice restaurant downtown with him explaining to me all the things I was too stupid to understand about Obama's utopian vision for Amerika.

"Look," I said, "None of that matters. We live in a democrat republic—a democracy, if you like. The people don't want it."

"Oh?" Gibbs seemed shocked. "How do you figure?"

"Well, the polls for one thing . . . "

Gibbs scoffed.

"But even beyond that, weren't you watching what happened in Massachusetts?"

"Of course. The people sent a message—a strong message. They are happy with what we are doing and want us to move faster."

"What?" I spit my lemon water all over the front of my shirt.

"Oh, sure," Gibbs said. "It's clear. The same thing that swept Scott Brown into office swept Obama into office."

I just stared in amazement. Just then my attention was diverted by a man two tables to our left who started making choking noises.

"People are . . . look at me, listen . . . people are angry," Gibbs said.

"I think that guy might be choking," I said.

"He's fine. People are angry and they're frustrated. Not just because of what's happened in the last year or two years, but what's happened over the last eight years."

"So the people of Massachusetts voted for Scott Brown 'cause they were mad at Bush? I really think that guy over there is choking."

"No, I said he's fine. Look, all I'm saying is that we inherited a mess. We had to salvage a financial system that . . . "

"Are you sure he's not choking? 'Cause he looks to me like he's trying to tell us he needs help." By this time the man had pushed back his chair and was making quite a scene.

Gibbs looked over, exasperated. "What? He's not saying that at all. He's saying that he likes the dish that I ordered."

"Look, he's doing the universal sign," I said. "He's saying 'Holy crap! I'm choking—need help.' I'm going to go give him the Heimlich."

"Well, that would be the wrong thing to do. Obviously you're misreading what he's trying to tell you. Clearly he's not sending that message at all."

"No, I'm pretty sure he's choking." I started to get up.

"Oh, come on," Gibbs whined. "It's clear, he's' signaling that the steak is perfect, but the salmon's not a bad choice either."

"Are you sure? 'Cause you know what? Right about now I'm getting a little weary of this whole metaphor."

"Yeah," Gibbs said, "Your blog readers are smart. By this point they've clued into your point, which is . . . "

"That you're an idiot. You're an idiot, your boss is an idiot, you're trying to cram something down our throats and your spin has become so ridiculous that it even insults the intelligence of democrats."

"And that's a pretty good trick," Gibbs said. "I'll pick up the bill."

I'm pretty sure that's what he meant
Speaking of Robert Gibbs, today I heard him say that the Democrats and the Republicans need to start working together.

I hope the democrats are listening. They need to come over to our side. Gibbs said it himself.

Obama's STFU speech is tonight

That cartoon came from this web site, which you'll want to make a part of your regular routine. They bash the Marxist in Chief and the cartoon chicks are hot. You can't beat that with a billy club on a Wednedsay.

I'm going to make a prediction about the STFU speech. Obama will start out with "Me, I, I, I, me, me, myself, I, me, me, me" then he'll get in an "All George Bush's fault" followed by some more "Me, myself and I." Then he'll throw in some "me, myself, and I" just to change things up a little bit, then he might apologize for being in our face for only 22 hours every day the past year. He wishes he could have been in our faces more, but he was so busy doing the important things (it's all Bush's fault). Then he'll blame George Bush again then he'll tell us we're too stupid to "get it" on socialism, then he'll finish off with a brilliant combination of "Me, myself, I, I, I, my and mine, I, I, me" mingled with "it's all George Bush's fault."

What a miserable prick that man is.

I just called the President of the United States a miserable prick. Hey, get back to me if I ever say anything as bad as what the demorats called Bush.

But here's the deal . . . and you know there's always a deal.

As you know, the Leany family now partakes of that opiate of the masses known as television. Because House comes on before 24, we were watching House. It's a great show because it examines diagnostic strategies. It sometimes requires explaining things to your children that are technically medical, I guess, but involve biological things that usually only adults who are married to each other should discuss. But it's an entertaining show, and I digress.

This week they had some patient with a crazy co-worker who was making wild accusations about her. House and everyone else dismissed them because the man was clearly nuts. He was clinically insane and a worthless drunk to boot. How can you give any credence to a man like that?

But the hot doctor chick wondered, what if that were convenient? I can't remember the perfect way she phrased it, but the message was that targeting someone like that would be a great strategy because he would be dismissed.

Calling someone "a miserable prick" indicates some fairly high emotion. That's the kind of emotion that could be associated with, oh, I don't know, things like racism. Sure, that's got to be it. Racism.

But what if that noise you heard behind the barrels in the warehouse wasn't made by the cat you saw running out of there? If you attribute it to the cat, and dismiss that as the cause, then the bad guy hiding back there is going to shoot you.

Racism does cause high emotion. So does socialism. So does lying to my face and insulting my intelligence. So does telling me to shut up. So does spending like a drunken sailor and raising my taxes (openly as well as under various guises). So does whining about how it's all someone else's fault. Wrecking my country inspires some emotion. Calling me a liar and stupid and an extremist might raise my ire a little, too. Doing all of that and then hiding behind the skirts of "If you criticize me for the same things you have always criticized others for, you are a racist" might spark a little emotion, too.

What if, and I'm just thinking out loud here, could it possibly be . . . I mean let's just examine the possibility using Occam's razor . . . might one reason you call someone a miserable prick be because he is a miserable prick?

Peggy: People will think that you don't like Khan just because he's oriental.

Hank: That is ridiculous I hate the man because he's rude and nasty, not because of what his people did to us in WW two.

Peggy: Well I know that, but everyone else will say that Hank Hill is a racist.

Hank: What the hell kind of country is this where I can only hate a man if he's white?

You know the deal. I will keep this wound open. I will continue to point out that I am openly bashing a black man because I refuse to follow his orders to STFU or else I'm a racist.

It's better if you're stoned
Back when I was in college a guy in our dorm told us we had to go see Up in Smoke. "It's hilarious," he promised. "You'll wet your pants."

We went. It was funny. But as we were walking out of the theater the guy who convinced us to go said "It's not nearly as funny as I remember. I was pretty stoned last time I saw it."

Which brings us to democrats.

On one of my business trips I tuned in to Jon Stewart. A liberal friend of mine had told me how hilarious he was. Here's a transcript of the part of his show that I saw.

Glenn Beck is dumb. (laughter) No, he is. He really is. (loud laughter)

Glenn Beck is so dumb . . . he is so dumb . . . he is . . . he's . . . stupid! (howling laughter)

Glenn Beck is dumb. (Howling laughter, sustained applause)

I guess you've got to be pretty stoned on the Kool-Aid to find that stuff remotely humorous. Apparently Jon Stewart's show pretty much revolves around bashing people who think for themselves. His audience consists of people who don't.

Glenn Beck, as you may know, isn't the world's biggest fan of a socialism. Now, if you happen to be a Marxist who is trying to socialize this country, Glenn Beck isn't helping you.

You'd like him to disappear. But you can't just call your buddies in Chicago and have him rubbed out like you used to do. People might notice if that happened, and that might damage your agenda.

So instead you try to use him to your advantage. Credibility is the currency you're dealing in. You get your little minions, like Jon Stewart, to just poke fun at him to try to ruin his credibility. Beck's not going away, so you have to just try to capture the "mainstream" ground from him. Make him sound like a crazy man so anything he says will be the last thing people believe. That way, when he reveals your true agenda it becomes effectively hidden.

America in one 6,000 lb. package
You want a symbol of America? Look no further than the nearest parking lot in Utah. It's the truck. It's the pickup that the average America uses to haul stuff.

Think about it. Americans own trucks because Americans are able to do things that require trucks. Every man in America (except Rachel Maddow) has installed sheetrock at some point. I didn't see many trucks in Europe. I didn't see many Home Depots, either. Americans own welders and Proto toolboxes and hydraulic jacks and--that pinnacle of technology in a civilized society--cordless drills.

Americans do things for themselves. It is the hallmark of what makes us Americans. It's what caused our forefathers to tell the royalty in Europe to take a hike. Pickups represent the American ideal of getting 'er done.

The fact that Obama thinks ridiculing Scott Brown's truck was a good idea is all the proof you need. Obama hasn't the first clue what it means to be American.

Moving to the center
And other fairy tales
Some people are saying that the Massachusetts victory will force Obama to move toward the center. You can find those people in the pumpkin patch waiting for the Great Pumpkin.

We've chatted about this before. For all their radical beliefs, Bill and Hillary will do what's best for their political careers. And oftentimes, as the Founders counted on, that means doing what the people want. When they got hammered in 1994 they reluctantly moved toward the center for their political survival.

Obama is an ideologue. He will pursue his agenda no matter what the consequences.

First, Obama's political survival is not in jeopardy no matter what he does. He has a free pass. The state-controlled media and Kool-Aid drinkers have too much vested in him to ever dare criticize any move he makes.

But beyond that, Obama is a radical. He's an extremist. He is Bill Ayers and Van Jones and Malcolm X and Ahmadenutjob. Obama will never yield even if it spells political suicide. He is the Muslim that is willing to blow himself up for the cause.

My faith restored
Last fall my brother became aware that I hadn't bought a converter box. Anxious to redeem his fallen kin, he gave me an extra one that he had. I graciously thanked him and immediately took it home and carefully stored it in a drawer. So Sunday the Little Missus tells me we're going to hook up the converter box. As it turns out, season 8 of "24" is starting that night.

My faith was restored. The show previous to '24' was entertaining and well-done—a production worthy to be stamped "Made in America." And the commercials were high quality as well.

That night I surfed over to channel 16 (ion) and saw what I had seen in that hotel room in Canada that made me believe TV had lost its edge. The commercials on that channel had that hokey feel of the infomercials that might appeal to 9/11 "Truthers" who buy such snake oil, but insult the intelligence of enlightened people like those who read Leany on Life.

Hey, don't think I'm not still better than you just 'cause I can't be sanctimonious about not having a TV anymore . . .

Faith Restored Part Deux
"For the first time in my adult life I am proud of Massachusetts." So said Rush Limbaugh, who also said "This one's for you, Mary Jo." Ann Coulter said "Once again, the people have spoken, and this time they quoted what Dick Cheney said to Pat Leahy."

I would have lost that bet. In fact, going into a meeting at 7:00 I told someone that if I had to bet I'd put money on Scott Brown losing. Coming out of that t 9:00 I heard that America had been granted a reprieve. The best way I can describe it is that it felt like election night 1980.

Dog licking himself syndrome here: You're already either up to speed or don’t care. But can you believe the demorats' spin on this. "What are you talking about?! The emperor is too wearing clothes!

A close personal friend of mine just did a video for his company. In spite of being a brilliant individual (and brutally handsome), my close personal friend didn't produce a final product that he was proud of. Especially since the other companies presenting had slick, glossy productions put together by ad agencies. Come to think of it, it kinda' had the amateurish quality that you'd expect from a commercial on channel 16.

So when people in the company tell my close personal friend "I hear you're the one that did the NovaPick video on YouTube," he always protests way too much and says "No way! I had nothing to do with it. No sir."

The point is, is it a lie if everyone knows you're lying?

Which brings us to John Edwards.

Today Edwards made the shocking disclosure that he was indeed the father of the baby that we found out two years ago that he fathered. I don't know about you, but when I heard that I could hardly breathe. Gulping for air, I started crying and yelling at him, 'What do you mean? What are you saying? Why did you lie to me?'

Why are you still here?
If you are still a democrat, what in the California are you still waiting for? Honestly, you are the wife standing outside the door of the motel room while the husband says "Honest, Honey! It's not what it looks like!" Judas Herbert Priest on a popsicle stick! How long are you going to let these people continue to abuse you?

John Edwards is a poster boy for democrat ethics. He personifies the kind of low morals, dishonesty, and general sleaziness that we've come to expect from that party. Howard Dean is a chimera from the same zygote.

DEAN: These voters were sending a message to Washington. They asked for change --

MATTHEWS: But she said, "I want to give you the public option" and they said no to her.

DEAN: -- and they haven't gotten change.

MATTHEWS: But she's for the public option and she got blown away!

DEAN: People who were for the p-poter... (stammering) voted for the public op... who are for the public option --

MATTHEWS: Why didn't they vote for the candidate of the public option, then?

DEAN: Because they wanted to send Washington the message: They want real change.

MATTHEWS: Voters of Massachusetts agree with you, but they voted Republican? That makes no sense.

DEAN: Oh, it does make --

MATTHEWS: If you went in the voting booth -- would you have voted for Scott Brown?

DEAN: Of course not.

MATTHEWS: Oh! You rationally would not have voted for the conservative Republican because he's against health care, but you say the voters are irrational. They somehow send smoke signals in their voting. They vote for a conservative Republican who's totally against health care to tell the country they want a progressive health care program. That's crazy! Are voters crazy?

DEAN: Chris, there's only one crazy person around here, and I may hold up a mirror. You may see him in a minute here.

MATTHEWS: You're saying no matter who won... Suppose Coakley had won. You would have said that was a victory for progressive Democrats. Wouldn't it be?

I'll ask you again, what level of insult is it going to take to push you over the threshold?


Who should resign?
I started this post on Monday. I was saying that someone should resign over the Reid flap, but it's not Reid. He's going to get voted into retirement, and that's how it should be. Steele should resign for being so clueless that he tries to implement the stupid strategies the demorats use. He's completely ineffective as a leader of the RNC; not what we need at the moment.

But when I examine all the things I have to do in a day, posting an opinion nobody cares about to some blah-blah-blog doesn't figure all that prominently in the list. So yesterday I came across this column by Jonah Goldberg that explained my exact opinion in a better way. Plus, it's much easier to cut and past than to write. Read the whole column, but here are some highlights:

He deserves the grief. Just last month, Reid insinuated that fellow senators standing in the way of "Obamacare" were carrying on the tradition of the racists who stood in the way of civil rights in the 1960s. That he's been caught talking like one of those racists is a delicious irony.

Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele said over the weekend that Reid should step down from his leadership position because of his comments. For this we needed the first African-American head of the Republican Party?

Steele is obviously right that there's a double standard when it comes to such racial gaffes. . . . But by demanding Reid's resignation, Steele is making an idiotic, nasty and entirely cynical game bipartisan.

. . . we have one party that, for the most part, says it wants special benefits for blacks and certain other minorities in order to compensate for past discrimination, and another party that, for the most part, wants to live up to the colorblind ideal found in the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.'s poetry about judging people by the content of their character.

Democrats have so completely mastered this practice and internalized their own heroic narrative, they are completely at home with their cognitive dissonance. For instance, Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) is reportedly one of Reid's biggest defenders. Schumer won his Senate seat in 1998 in large part by insinuating that his opponent, Alfonse D'Amato, was an anti-Semite because D'Amato had allegedly dubbed Schumer a "putzhead" in a private meeting with Jewish supporters.

What kind of person votes for a president based on a desire to demonstrate that he's not a racist? A racist does that.

"Hey, look at me, I'm not a racist, I'm not, really, I'm not. Look! See? I did, I voted for a black guy, I'm not a racist." The lady doth protest too much, me thinks.

Most of the people that cast their vote for Barack Obama are scared to death that they're probably racist and they're anxious to dispel that image. I'm not a racist. That's why I'm not afraid to bash a complete idiot who is against everything that America stands for, just because he happens to be black.

If you're trashing my country I don't like you. I don't care if you're black. I don't care if you're Arab or Jewish or Muslim or Indian or Asian or Caucasian. I don't even care if you're a white Mormon male from a western state.

Where Credit's Due
My final thought last year was to remind you that Obama is a piece of crap. Time was I would have hesitated to say that, even if it were true. It just seemed too disrespectful of The Office of the President. That was before the left demonstrated how permissible—even desirable—it was to say the most hateful things you possibly could about a sitting President.

You could say that I "inherited" the ability to rancorously bash the president from opponents of the previous administration.

Helping you sort it out
As a public service I'd like to offer my help. Sometimes it may be hard to understand the verbiage that you hear in a daily news cast. I'd like to step up and translate some of that for you.
Susan Powell, Salt Lake mother of two, remains missing after six weeks.
That's easy enough. I think you got that.
Her husband, Josh Powell, remains a person of interest.
Her husband, Josh Powell, remains the person who killed her.

Glad to be of soivus.

Picture of the (last) year
This is hilarious.

I got the picture here, but start typing "free nobel" into Google and it'll come back with lots of hits.

One of my favorite comments was: Horizon Auto is right. The Nobel peace prize has been a joke for a long time. Giving the award to Obama makes the award a bigger joke.

Speaking of narcissistic people who don't realize they are a joke, here's a better rendition of Al Gore's "poem."

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