Somebody really thinks Saddam is cooperating? I'm not falling for it.

So Saddam comes along and says "You remember those missiles we weren't supposed to have? Well I'll be darned if we didn't happen to find a couple of those that somehow got misplaced. Tell you what. Just to prove what wonderful people we are, we're going to go ahead and destroy those for you."

Then France, that great world power that brought us the nasal vowel, says "Hey! Lookee there! Iraq is cooperating! Zhou can't bomb zhe Iraquis 'cause zhey aah co-haupehwating!"

This situation raises one small question.


First off, the UN inspectors couldn't find Anna Nicole Smith in a room full of first graders.

Next, did we learn nothing from Bill Clinton? I'll wait while you finish screaming at the fact that I just compared the tactics of a former US president with a terrorist dictator.

One thing we did get out of the Clinton years is great insight into how the mind of an evil person operates. How many times did you hear Clinton say he was "cooperating"? Do you remember what it meant when he said that? It meant we was not cooperating. Occasionally he'd throw a token morsel out there to keep the investigators at bay. But mostly he just did absolutely nothing but loudly protest that he was a victim and he was "cooperating fully." Sound familiar?

I'm not falling for it. Nobody with two brain cells connected by a working synapse can believe that turning over a couple of missiles (that you weren't ever supposed to have in the first place) constitutes cooperation.

Try this. When your wife sees mouse droppings in the cellar, set a trap. As soon as you've caught one mouse, show it to her as evidence that the problem is solved. There are no more mice. See? I found it and I killed it. Do you really think she'll buy that?

Oops, bad anaology. The average housewife is smarter than the average world leader. Oh, wait. The average caller to the Phil Hendrie show is smarter than the average world leader.

You don't need to be Nostradamus to see what's going on here. Saddam's got a whole silo full of poison barley that he's not allowed to have. Every month or so he's going to scoop out a spoonful of grain and hand it over to prove he's cooperating. Meanwhile his minions are dumping more of the stuff in by the truckload.

Have you ever seen a silo explosion? You're about to.