Jessie Jackson Junior thinks Trent Lott is Monica Lewinsky? I'm not falling for it.

So Trent Lott’s at a birthday party for Strom Thurmond. The guy’s 100 years old, it takes him 40 minutes to take a leak then it’s time to go again. Mr. Lott wants to say something nice about the guy, so he remembers that Strom ran for president clear back against FDR. So, without thinking, Lott says “It shore woulda been nice if youd'a got to be prezdent way back then.”

Enter the democrats (theme music from Dragnet). Hi-Ya! Whoa! Gotcha! Trent Lott’s a racist!

What? Sure, back when Strom ran for president he was for segregation, ergo Trent Lott’s a racist.

Okay, that’s enough material right there for a semester on logical fallacies, but that’s okay. Lott apologizes, the republicans get together and say, “You know what, we never much cared for the man anyway, who cares what he thinks about race, he’s not an effective leader. Maybe this would be a good time to show him the door.”

So far we don’t have a story, we have a cure for insomnia. But the democrats, rocket scientists that they are, start to holler, “Hey! The republicans are looking bad. Let’s look worse than they do!”

So here comes Jessie Jackson Junior. Now, apparently they didn’t get around to teaching Napoleon during Jackson’s three years of formal education, or he might have learned that you “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” So he starts prancing around saying that “Trent Lott is to the republican party like Monica Lewinsky was to Bill Clinton.” Brilliant. The man is pure poetry. I’ll bet he has more nuggets of wisdom like “Michelangelo is to bicycles like a horse is to a computer” and “Sunrise is to Hollywood as submarines are to hernias.”

Maybe it’s just me, but I don't think bringing up the Bill/Monica affair is the best way to defend the honor of the party. But Jackson “attempts to explain” (his words). See, Monica represented Bill Clinton’s private failures in Mo-WAL-uh-TEIY! Trent Lott represents the republican’s public failures in Mo-WAL-uh-TEIY!

Am I making fun of the way Jackson talks? You bet I am. Am I a racist? No way. I have no tolerance for white idiots, either.

Okay, Jessie Junior, you've set the rules, let's play the game. You pick Trent Lott as being the typical republican. What do you think about Michael Jackson being the typical black man?

There’s no way the democrats in general and Jessie Junior in particular can be as stupid as they’re being portrayed on the news. I’m not falling for it.