Drivers Licenses for illegal aliens? I'm not falling for it.
9/24/03

It's time to speak out on the use of spell checkers and responsible editing. In this day of high-tech spelling and grammar checking we've become lackadaisical about proof reading copy going to press. That's how these kind of misunderstandings come about.

Somehow a story slipped past editing without being properly proof read and we got "Gray Davis to give drivers licenses to illegal aliens" in the headline when the original story was "Price of peaches shown to track with the decline in cattle futures, new study shows."

Now everybody knows you can't give drivers licenses to illegal aliens. That would be ridiculous. That would be as crazy as providing them with schooling and health care. We don't want them here and we don't recognize their right to be here. That's why we call them "illegal," you see.

Imagine someone on a cruise ship and the Ticket-checker-uppper fellow comes around and says "May I see your ticket sir?"
I'm sorry, I don't have a ticket. I snuck on board without paying.
Very well sir. Can I bring you a drink or a meal? Do you need fresh towels for the swimming pool? Are your seats reserved for this evening's concert?

So we can just summarily dismiss the idea that anyone for a split second ever had the idea that we were going to give drivers licenses to someone who has no right to be here. The unjust wrath that has been directed toward the victim, Gray Davis, needs to be turned on the sloppy proof readers responsible for this misunderstanding getting out of hand.