We're going to not bomb Iraq to avoid possibly killing Sean Penn? I'm not falling for it.

So Iraq’s building weapons of mass destruction and supporting terrorist groups. We here in the US think that that’s not a very friendly activity and we sure would like to see them stop doing that. Whoever’s really running the country behind the figurehead of Sadam (if Sadam Hussein doesn’t wear diapers and can remember his own name I’ll be shocked—the man is a vegetable), isn’t likely to see the light and play friendly with the rest of the boys and girls on the planet. So we decide maybe he needs a little gentle persuasion.

First off, the UN inspectors are a skit from Saturday Night Live (back when it used to be funny). I’m not falling for that one. No one that can go 90 seconds without drooling believes they seriously think that they’re going to find any weapons. “Can we look in that building?” No. “Okay, where can we look?” Over here in this neighborhood, but you have to give us a list of where you’re going to be looking a week ahead of time. “No problem. You don’t have any weapons you’re not supposed to have, do you?” Oh, no, oh my, we would never do that. “Okay, just checking.”

Nope. I’m not falling for that one.

So now the news is reporting that world famous problem solver and soldier of note Sean Penn, is running over to Iraq to check things out for himself. I’m not falling for it. They want people to call the radio stations and write internet columns saying “That’s ridiculous. What in the name of Norman P. Swarzkopf does some drug-addicted actor know about diplomacy?” They want us to be outraged and talk among ourselves about “Can you believe he’s pulling that bleeding heart crap about let’s let them kill our children ‘cause they have children, too?” They want us to write our congressmen and say “Oh, for heaven’s sake, please oh, please don’t bomb Iraq ‘cause you might accidentally hit some actor and heaven knows we have a serious shortage of those in our country.”

Then the people that run these ludicrous stories can laugh and say “Ha-hah! Those imbeciles really thought that anybody gives a tinker’s damn if Sean Penn went to Iraq or not! Aren’t they a bunch of gullible fools!”

I’m sorry, I’m not falling for it.