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Pleasure-free Guilt
(A long time ago)

I get a call one day from a former co-worker. "Hi! Remember me?"
Sure, I say, how are you doing?
"I'm getting a divorce. Do you want to take me to lunch?"
I take her to lunch.
Two days later I get another call. "I'm sick. Will you come over and take care of me?"
I go over and make her some hot soup and we talk for awhile.
The next day my phone rings again. "We've got to talk."
I go over and we talk. She tells me that she's not divorced yet, only separated and that I'd better quit pushing so hard and try to behave myself and act properly and don't you feel better now that we've had this little talk?
Much better, I say.
A week later, she comes over to my house. "You're not very romantic with me. Don't you find me attractive? Let's go for a walk."
We go for a walk and I hold her hand.
"You've been such a support to me through all this," she says. "I don't know how I would have survived without you." She gives me a hug.
She calls me up the next day. "I'm afraid you're just too wild for me. I don't want you to just want me for physical reasons."

I don't see this gal for six months.
One day she calls me up. " I want you to take me out."
"But I want it to be your idea."
"Fine. Then I'll see you at six."
The next day she meets me at work. "I wanted you to be aware that I'm not seeing anybody else. Are you?"
Am I what?
"We've been going out for six months. Are you going to keep leading me on forever or do you intend to get serious?"
"Yeah. You know, like marriage. That's what people do when they're in love."
I just stand there. She starts to cry. What's the matter, I ask.
"I just told you I love you," she sobs. She gets in her car and leaves.

Two weeks later she is re-married. Now all her friends hate me 'cause I wasted six months of her life and then broke her heart.

Frank Leany

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