The Inner Sanctum

Welcome, fellow VRW Conspirator. Here is the deepest, darkest regions of the VRWC, the 33rd order, the star chamber . . . well, what youíve got here is the code book. Hereís will you will find the secret passwords and signs and songs that will identify you as a member of the Secret and Protective Order Of the Fraternal VRWC.

The secret password of the day is:

Secret initiation rites

Here is the ultra-top secret hush-hush initiation ceremony wherein successful candidates are inducted into the secret conspiratorial society.

Secret Anthem of the VRWC

(Battle Hymn of the VRWC

Mine eyes first heard him say he'd smoked dope but did not inhale.
Then he said heíd gotten no draft notice in the mail
When asked about Ms. Flowers he spun quite a lovely tale.
His lies go on and on.

Glory, gloryís what heís seeking
Gloryís why the man is wreaking
Havoc with those lies heís speaking
His lies go on and on.

Hillary was lucky with investments that she made
I did not ask for silence for job offers that I made
Now I am so broke my lawyers never may get paid
His lies go on and on.

I did not ask troopers to go out and get me dates
I did not do Chelseaís nanny by the mansion gates
Everyone who tells those stories just prevaricates
His lies go on and on.

If I met that Paula Jones I really donít recall
That Whitewater deal made me no money, no, none at all
Those files just moved themselves to the office down the hall
His lies go on and on.

Never was I ever all alone with that young lass
Never did I touch her breasts nor did I touch her . . . uh, security pass
Monica came on to me--she tried to make a pass
His lies go on and on.

Health care will not raise your taxes by one single cent
Oh, maybe thatís what I said but thatís not what I meant.
Paula Jones is lying about what she says is bent
His lies go on and on.

I was sad when Ron Brown died I cried my eyes right out
And the Chinese money that I took gave them no clout
My administration is more clean than a boy scout
His lies go on and on

Glory, gloryís what heís after
Thereís nobody that is dafter
Glory be, itís good for laughter
His lies go on and on.

No one hired Craig Livingstone, he just appeared right there
Like those FBI files that appeared out of thin air
How the ended up under my nose Iím not aware
His lies go on and on

Carville does not work for me he is not my paid flack
Larry Flynt is on his own I cannot call him back.
Iím not helping them out so that they will scratch my back
His lies go on and on.

Kathleen Willeyís lying and it makes no sense at all
That she says I groped her Ďcause I think her breasts are small.
Landow acted on his own with all his falderal.
His lies go on and on.

I did not steal files from Fosterís office when he died
I wish we could find those files Ďcause heaven knows weíve tried
How that note got in his briefcase leaves me mystified
His lies go on and on.

Susan was all on her own with her great secrecy
Hubbellís cash for silence really didnít come from me
Though my friends are all in jail Iím clean as I can be
His lies go on and on.

Gloryís all heís ever wanted
Gloryís why weíre being haunted
By his lies that go undaunted.
His lies go on and on.

© 1999 Vast Right Wing Conspiracy (not VRWC inc. Ďcause that would require incorporating which would require revealing that we exist which we simply cannot do). Reproduction, distribution or even revealing to persons outside of the VRWC is strictly prohibited.

VRWC Jingle

Formerly titled the VRWC anthem even though itís not really an anthem at all--hey, weíre secret conspirators, not linguists.

My son he has a first name, itís D-A-N-N-Y.
My sonís last name is not my own, Iíll bet that you know why.
His mommaís after me to pay
Child support but I just say:
I donít think thereís any way
You can prove that's my DNA.

Secret sign

When one member of the VRWC meets another (or believes that a person with whom he is in contact with might be a fellow member of the VRWC) he (this is not a politically correct society, he means he/she or he or she and even if it's not politically correct it's grammatically correct as opposed to "they" and if you don't like it maybe you oughta' just go find yourself another secret society to hang out with) holds his thumb out in that irritating and obnoxious way that Clinton does it, and says "Now is the time to end the politics of personal destruction." If the other person is a member of the VRWC he (remember, he could be a she) will burst into uncontrolled spasms of laughter at the idea that hiring PIs and sleazy attorneys and pornographers to dig up dirt is the way to "mend the fabric of this nation." The two conspirators will put their arms around one another's shoulders, begin singing Lynyrd Skynyrd songs and head out to find a liberal to make fun of. Alternatively, the person extending the sign might say "It's time to put a human face on the global economy" which should elicit the same response.

Return to the VRWC lobby.