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State Board Association

My friend, Jordi Hendricks, who, as you'll recall, is the finest guitar player in all of Christendom (and by extension, the entire world (I mean, really, how many great Buddhist guitarists do you come across?)) suggested that I write a daily column, probably due to the fact that I have mastered basic writing skills like keeping sentence lengths to reasonable standards (and not rambling off with parenthetical asides (including nested parentheses)). I thought an internet column might be fun to try, but I would be inclined to do it weekly rather than daily. Not that the material for a column doesn't come along daily.

Take today, for example. I heard on the news that the Bar association, those fine gentlepersons that govern the conduct of lawyers (hack-spit (I always do that after I say that word for some reason)) have modified their rules to allow their members to engage in deceit where it is necessary for national security or some such thing. That wasn't the great material. The great material was when Ms. Dixon (who, as you recall, is a proud owner of a juris doctorate herself) mentioned that "The bar association forbids its members from engaging in deceitful conduct in their practices."

I was still wiping my eyes from this knee slapper when I sat down at my desk and my boss walked in. After the normal pleasantries, he explained that designers across America were forming an association called the American Board Association (I assume with reference to a drafting board) that would govern our conduct as designers. I thought that sounded interesting, then he said, "Yeah, that'll be a big help in how we do our jobs. For example, they've forbidden the use of computers and paper in our work."

"Okay, I think we can do that," I said as I printed off a drawing from my computer. "That sounds like a great thing. No computers, no paper. I think the public will appreciate that."

"Yep," he agreed. "We'll be sure to follow their guidelines just as outlined. By the way, we need you to try out the latest design software upgrade on your computer."

"Okay, I'll do that and print you up a report," I said. The boss started to leave when I thought of a question. "Hey, what happens if we violate the rules?"

"Oh, that's the best part," he said. "If you violate the Board rules, someone sends a complaint to the State Board. Since you're a member of the State Board, the complaint will come to you to dismiss."

Frank Leany

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